It took me awhile to finally write this post, after being upset for so long. While I ventured to write this post, the back of my mind is thinking whether readers who read this, will they write something nasty or encouraging.
Let's start with this friend I have... She is a devoted religious person and she sometimes shared about her faith to us. I meant she is a nice person but certain things that she said, kept me thinking ... Really hard. One of the things that she said and belief is about 'karma'.
What is karma? I searched Wikipedia and this came up: "Karma means action, work or deed; where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering".
This friend has 2 other siblings (older sisters). Her parents' business is selling Chinese fish soups. According to her religious practice, she told me her father accumulated bad karma through selling fish soup over the years. Ok, bad karma because killing life (fish) is a bad deed and because of that her father do not have a male heir to carry on the family sir name. Well, maybe if her mum will to give birth to a forth child, it could be a boy? And her father works hard to provide for the family, she should at least feel grateful?
Seriously, I hope what she believes in, she should keeps to herself. When I was pregnant with Stacy, I thought about what she said. So, my husband did 'bad' things or was it me? Pregnancy to a lot of mums-to-be are suppose to be joyous - like a celebration. To me, although I felt happy, I couldn't forget what this friend had said to me.
2nd pregnancy with Erica, I refused to find out her gender. I had a general anaesthesia c-section to deliver Erica (not by choice). When I woke up, my husband told me 'it's a girl, she is very beautiful just like Stacy'. Honestly, I was a little disappointed. But when the nurse brought Erica into the room, I love her more than anything else in the world (ok, Stacy too ;) ).
Yes, sometimes I still brood over what this friend said. But I told myself I am fortunate to have two beautiful, healthy children. Isn't that what all parents wish for their kids?
Before having children, people used to asked, "when are you getting married?" After marriage, "when are you going to have children?" After having one child, " when are you going to have another one?" After having 2 same gender children, "when are you going to have a boy/girl?" Some people mouth just can't keep quiet...
It has never cross my mind, what the gender of my children should be. I just love children. But with some Asians' conservative mindset of having a male heir in the family can be quite overwhelming or worse having to face a friend who told you about karma. Go away please.
I hope this friend gets her son that she has wished for and I hope my children NEVER learn of this belief that having girls are karma. Utterly nonsense!
I love my children and I love myself. Bye. :)
