I was amused after reading this article on "keeping those roving eyes under control".
"As hard as it is for most women to understand, men are wired to notice other women even if they think their wife is the prettiest girl in the room.
Some doctors blame a biochemical reaction in the brain. Many men will tell you it's just a habit.
The reality is men are visual beings and attractive women trigger a powerful emotional response. It is not a sign of emotional or physical unfaithfulness.
But guys, don't think that lets us off the hook!
You and I still have a responsibility to keep our emotions in check and roving eyes under control.
Simple glances can easily turn into a habit of staring, and it can also lead to lust.
On our wedding day we made a commitment to only have eyes for one women, and that's a promise we should keep. " - quoted by Dr Bill Maier.
I said women do look, too but perhaps women are just more discreet oglers. Or men are less inclined to notice our visual infidelity. Perhaps this has to do with males’ perception of being more attractive than they really are. Contrarily, women are more likely to underestimate their physical attractiveness than men.
And can actually avoid a lot of fights by not oogling every woman within eyesight. Yes, men are visual creatures; but you can glance without being so obvious. Of course, men really don’t only have eyes for her, but at least behaving will be much appreciated as women are very sensitive about their looks.
Rightly or wrongly, society judges us much more than men based upon our attractiveness. When men are constantly staring down other women, no matter how secure your girl may be, it bothers her deep inside. When your lust is stirred for another woman, especially a flesh and blood one in the real world, this is perceived by your girl as a threat to the relationship.
Also, because women often compete with each other based upon on their looks, you’re subtly signaling to the other woman that your girl is a loser. Are these the signals you’re intending to send? Do you enjoy fighting with your significant other about women you don’t even know and in fact, were simply admiring?
Ladies, that behavior can be changed by your man if, you are honest with him about your feelings and, he cares enough to change. If it persists, it will only manifest over time. You deserve better.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The boat ride at Singapore River
Used to sit in that boat in my younger days.. Took it again recently but it has become an expensive ride
This was taken about 4-5pm. The boat is for tourists to 'sightsee' but we took it as well. Hmm.. nice.
Saw these figures on the wall. You thought its real if you see it at night.
This was taken about 4-5pm. The boat is for tourists to 'sightsee' but we took it as well. Hmm.. nice.
Saw these figures on the wall. You thought its real if you see it at night.Medical Error
I wrote this because a friend's grandmother passed away suddenly in a hospital many years ago and the family members suspected that it was due to medical staffs' error. Accidents like this is still happening.
Thousands of people die each year from medical errors, according to a report. When a mistake is made today, the result is that those close to the error know of the mistake, but the event is kept secret.
Left hidden, common medical mistakes — such as administering a drug incorrectly — are rarely identified quickly and studied for ways to make the health care system safer.
Today, hospitals must now tell patients and their families when they have been hurt by a medical error. Medical errors happen when something that was planned as a part of medical care doesn't work out, or when the wrong plan was used in the first place. Medical errors can occur anywhere in the health care system.
Most errors result from problems created by today's complex health care system. But errors also happen when doctors and their patients have problems communicating. For example, doctors often do not do enough to help their patients make informed decisions. Uninvolved and uninformed patients are less likely to accept the doctor's choice of treatment and less likely to do what they need to do to make the treatment work.
What you can do:
- Take part in every decision about your health care
- Make sure that all of your doctors know about everything you are taking. This includes prescription and over-the-counter medicines, and dietary supplements such as vitamins and herbs.
- Make sure your doctor knows about any allergies and adverse reactions you have had to medicines.
- When your doctor writes you a prescription, make sure you can read it.
- If you have any questions about the directions on your medicine labels, ask.
- Ask about the side effects your medicine could cause.
- If you are having surgery, make sure that you, your doctor, and your surgeon all agree and are clear on exactly what will be done.
- Speak up if you have questions or concerns.
- Make sure that someone, such as your personal doctor, is in charge of your care.
- Ask a family member or friend to be there with you and to be your advocate (someone who can help get things done and speak up for you if you can't).
- Know that "more" is not always better.
- If you have a test, don't assume that no news is good news.
- Learn about your condition and treatments by asking your doctor and nurse and by using other reliable sources.
(Tips extracted from womenshealth website)
Thousands of people die each year from medical errors, according to a report. When a mistake is made today, the result is that those close to the error know of the mistake, but the event is kept secret.
Left hidden, common medical mistakes — such as administering a drug incorrectly — are rarely identified quickly and studied for ways to make the health care system safer.
Today, hospitals must now tell patients and their families when they have been hurt by a medical error. Medical errors happen when something that was planned as a part of medical care doesn't work out, or when the wrong plan was used in the first place. Medical errors can occur anywhere in the health care system.
Most errors result from problems created by today's complex health care system. But errors also happen when doctors and their patients have problems communicating. For example, doctors often do not do enough to help their patients make informed decisions. Uninvolved and uninformed patients are less likely to accept the doctor's choice of treatment and less likely to do what they need to do to make the treatment work.
What you can do:
- Take part in every decision about your health care
- Make sure that all of your doctors know about everything you are taking. This includes prescription and over-the-counter medicines, and dietary supplements such as vitamins and herbs.
- Make sure your doctor knows about any allergies and adverse reactions you have had to medicines.
- When your doctor writes you a prescription, make sure you can read it.
- If you have any questions about the directions on your medicine labels, ask.
- Ask about the side effects your medicine could cause.
- If you are having surgery, make sure that you, your doctor, and your surgeon all agree and are clear on exactly what will be done.
- Speak up if you have questions or concerns.
- Make sure that someone, such as your personal doctor, is in charge of your care.
- Ask a family member or friend to be there with you and to be your advocate (someone who can help get things done and speak up for you if you can't).
- Know that "more" is not always better.
- If you have a test, don't assume that no news is good news.
- Learn about your condition and treatments by asking your doctor and nurse and by using other reliable sources.
(Tips extracted from womenshealth website)
Monday, September 8, 2008
Recognising single mother and child as a family unit
A single mother wrote in the papers recently and asked why unmarried mothers cannot have the same benefits and privileges that go to married mums. These include tax breaks and other financial incentives like the baby bonus.
To some expectant mothers they cried with joys of pregnancy, but some spends sleepless nights wondering where they will live once the baby is born.
This is the story of this women who are unmarried and their long road ahead as single mum.
One of the women had her boyfriend threw her out when she refused to have an abortion. He had proposed to her last year and she abandoned the PhD programme she was pursuing overseas. She lost her well-paying contract job as a human resource specialist at a multinational company. She says she was fired for not telling them she was pregnant when she was hired the previous month.
I thought: Single mothers, including unmarried ones, face double the burden with half the resources needed. Their sons will do national service and their daughters will bear and nurture future generations, right? So why the differences?
The writer who wrote the news article just want a little help from the government.
Unwed mothers are not entitled to baby bonus or tax relief if they work. Those under 35 cannot buy Housing Board flats unless they go through a process of seeking special permission. They are entitled to buy flats if they team up with parents or siblings - a mother and child are not considered a family unit.
To the writer, she and the child are a family.
They may have made a mistake, but they are taking responsibility for their actions by being in the role of both a father and mother. So why discriminated against for having and raising a child in a country that needs kids so much?
The mothers do need financial incentives more than those in complete family units.
For many of them, the fathers refused to bear responsibility. Some of these women are victims themselves, being abandoned by partners they trusted. If unwed mothers are not given the same benefits as married ones, this will affect the child.
Home ownership rules could be made more flexible, at least by recognising a mother and child as a family unit.
One MP said, 'The family unit with a father, mother and child is the fabric with which we weave our community.' 'That should not be compromised.' ( Of cos' the mothers want that complete family unit as well)
Not surprised that there are more unwed mums, he said 'Being better educated and financially independent gives them the choice to raise babies single-handedly.'
But he felt that having made alternative lifestyle choices, they should not then ask the Government to bend rules to accommodate them.
'No baby will be deprived of milk powder or a roof over his head,' said the MP. 'If a single mother is really in need, of course, we will make exceptions'.
But the exception cannot become the rule.
His parliamentary colleague, shares similar views. 'Government policies are made on a macro level - they set the tone for society,' she said.
(I find this amusing) If the mother gave the baby up for adoption, he would become someone else's 'legitimate' child. So to the single or unwed mothers, if they had their babies, loves them and wants to raise them, their babies will always be illegitimate in the eyes of the state.
Or is it better to chuck the baby at the door of a community centre, then their separate lives would probably be better off than for the mother to take up her moral responsibility, and be shunned.
It seems that being responsible is worse off than being irresponsible.
Granted that allowing some leeway with the public-housing policy may open up possibilities not intended at its inception, but, surely, there should be a small scheme to help such mothers?
Not so much to condone what they had done, but to stop the cycle of punishment and blame and to give the child the best chance to grow up happy, like every other child.
To some expectant mothers they cried with joys of pregnancy, but some spends sleepless nights wondering where they will live once the baby is born.
This is the story of this women who are unmarried and their long road ahead as single mum.
One of the women had her boyfriend threw her out when she refused to have an abortion. He had proposed to her last year and she abandoned the PhD programme she was pursuing overseas. She lost her well-paying contract job as a human resource specialist at a multinational company. She says she was fired for not telling them she was pregnant when she was hired the previous month.
I thought: Single mothers, including unmarried ones, face double the burden with half the resources needed. Their sons will do national service and their daughters will bear and nurture future generations, right? So why the differences?
The writer who wrote the news article just want a little help from the government.
Unwed mothers are not entitled to baby bonus or tax relief if they work. Those under 35 cannot buy Housing Board flats unless they go through a process of seeking special permission. They are entitled to buy flats if they team up with parents or siblings - a mother and child are not considered a family unit.
To the writer, she and the child are a family.
They may have made a mistake, but they are taking responsibility for their actions by being in the role of both a father and mother. So why discriminated against for having and raising a child in a country that needs kids so much?
The mothers do need financial incentives more than those in complete family units.
For many of them, the fathers refused to bear responsibility. Some of these women are victims themselves, being abandoned by partners they trusted. If unwed mothers are not given the same benefits as married ones, this will affect the child.
Home ownership rules could be made more flexible, at least by recognising a mother and child as a family unit.
One MP said, 'The family unit with a father, mother and child is the fabric with which we weave our community.' 'That should not be compromised.' ( Of cos' the mothers want that complete family unit as well)
Not surprised that there are more unwed mums, he said 'Being better educated and financially independent gives them the choice to raise babies single-handedly.'
But he felt that having made alternative lifestyle choices, they should not then ask the Government to bend rules to accommodate them.
'No baby will be deprived of milk powder or a roof over his head,' said the MP. 'If a single mother is really in need, of course, we will make exceptions'.
But the exception cannot become the rule.
His parliamentary colleague, shares similar views. 'Government policies are made on a macro level - they set the tone for society,' she said.
(I find this amusing) If the mother gave the baby up for adoption, he would become someone else's 'legitimate' child. So to the single or unwed mothers, if they had their babies, loves them and wants to raise them, their babies will always be illegitimate in the eyes of the state.
Or is it better to chuck the baby at the door of a community centre, then their separate lives would probably be better off than for the mother to take up her moral responsibility, and be shunned.
It seems that being responsible is worse off than being irresponsible.
Granted that allowing some leeway with the public-housing policy may open up possibilities not intended at its inception, but, surely, there should be a small scheme to help such mothers?
Not so much to condone what they had done, but to stop the cycle of punishment and blame and to give the child the best chance to grow up happy, like every other child.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
If you think you are unhappy...
(These was forward to my email.. voted the best email of this year.) -Extracted only a few
I cried...
If you think your salary is low.. If you think you don't have many friends...When you feel like giving up.. If you think you suffer in life... you complain about your transport system... If your society is unfair to you... Enjoy life how it is and as it comes.. Things are worse for others and is a lot better for us. There are many things in your life that will catch your eye but only a few will catch your heart....pursue those...
I cried...
Monday, September 1, 2008
A time to relax - At Port Dickson
Took a 3D/2N stay at Port Dickson with boyfriend. Its a wonderful place to unwind from the city and definitely away from work. This room overseeing the Straits of Melaka.
Beautiful beach and its not crowded.
Sunset.. definitely Romantic... Friday, August 29, 2008
Smart vs. Useful Academic
Reading the news articles recently, sometimes make me wonder why even though we are armed with good education, we still do not think critically, become savvy, intelligence and flexible...
The promise of smart is to have a way to talk about quality in a sea of quantity. But the problem is that it becomes the competitive of the university, aiming not for the cultivation of intelligence but for individual success in the academic market.
It was the taste of those who talked and thought in similar ways. The danger of smart is that it confirms the moves and mannerisms of a new and perhaps equally closed network.
"Smart," is a designation of mental ability, seems a natural term to distinguish the pursuits of higher education. I would prefer the things that I read to be useful and relevant, and my institution to be fair. However, suggested cooperative values are not rewarded in a field that needs being smart.
Millions are spent every year on sustaining the scholarship program – many of these scholars after finishing their academic tenure are integrated into the various institutions with the hope of ensuring peak individual and organizational performance.
But I think schools teach us to be book-smart, instead of street-smart. Why? Because students have been raise through a 'standard' studying over a very long period of at least 16 years, from Primary School to University, growing up within the confines of a society of generally submissive and subservient people.
The really smart ones are those who survived through countless and persistent difficulties over a prolonged period of time.
The scholar system here in a way our knowledge is defined, regulated and placed a value upon, and thus intellectual is channeled and directed rather than given free flow. When this happens and many disciplines are prized above others, selected types of knowledge are valued more than others, it has become difficult to truly become a “knowledgeable” and “educated” person.
Is the smartness trend tied to "academic groupthink?
How do you see this?
The promise of smart is to have a way to talk about quality in a sea of quantity. But the problem is that it becomes the competitive of the university, aiming not for the cultivation of intelligence but for individual success in the academic market.
It was the taste of those who talked and thought in similar ways. The danger of smart is that it confirms the moves and mannerisms of a new and perhaps equally closed network.
"Smart," is a designation of mental ability, seems a natural term to distinguish the pursuits of higher education. I would prefer the things that I read to be useful and relevant, and my institution to be fair. However, suggested cooperative values are not rewarded in a field that needs being smart.
Millions are spent every year on sustaining the scholarship program – many of these scholars after finishing their academic tenure are integrated into the various institutions with the hope of ensuring peak individual and organizational performance.
But I think schools teach us to be book-smart, instead of street-smart. Why? Because students have been raise through a 'standard' studying over a very long period of at least 16 years, from Primary School to University, growing up within the confines of a society of generally submissive and subservient people.
The really smart ones are those who survived through countless and persistent difficulties over a prolonged period of time.
The scholar system here in a way our knowledge is defined, regulated and placed a value upon, and thus intellectual is channeled and directed rather than given free flow. When this happens and many disciplines are prized above others, selected types of knowledge are valued more than others, it has become difficult to truly become a “knowledgeable” and “educated” person.
Is the smartness trend tied to "academic groupthink?
How do you see this?
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