We fear what we do not know

The newspaper headline, "What you don't know, you fear" caught my attention.

It is indeed very true that people fear the unknown because it is beyond our ability to control and often presents us with truths that would compel us to change. Perhaps, we think that what we don't know can hurt us?

Looking deeper, it is the fear of the "uncertainty" that we fear certain outcomes.
In humans, that 'self-awareness' could help us evolve better into taking care of ourselves those around us. But in life, we find too many uncertainties. Lack of trust in others, lack of trust in almost everything, slowly builds up that 'unknown' fear. The fear of, "Any thing can happen, even we do not know what those things could be." This, undoubtedly, have saved many human lives in the past as our fear protects us from what could potentially damage us.

One of the biggest fears is losing what we have. It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard to attain, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about. We need to remember that focusing our energy on fear can actually create what scares us.

Often, we fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness. We can however, manage and shift our attention to the right place. We can stop fearing loss of money or success because when we understand how it is created. We can always create more.

We can stop fearing loss of possessions. We can stop judging what we are not sure. We do not assume by jumping to conclusions about what's right and wrong or our mind will be closed and misinterpret.

By focusing on our fears, We can choose instead to direct our thoughts and creative, innovative power toward things of true value.

Note: Never guess at what happened and don't judge until the facts are out, this way, we can minimise the fear in us.

Walk the Path you choose

I have been faced at times with harsh reality. That harsh reality is that even though I feel strongly about making this aspect of my life a successful one, there will be others that do not believe it is possible. I have seen the expressions and reactions of people when I tell them that I am looking at change in career - a career that I have a passion in.

For someone else, it could be in their choice of major in school or it could be in the career that they are attempting to create for themselves, or a position in their current profession that they are striving toward. Whatever the task or goal may be, most all of us at some point in time will face a negative response from someone that for whatever reason does not believe in your ability to succeed.

Till date, it still take a lot of hard work and perseverance on my behalf. If you like me, have hit a wall in one direction, then back up and find another direction to go in. But never stop trying to move forward with your dream.

We are a product of our environment, we are shaped by environment, our parents, teachers, and friends. One of the greatest methods to walk your path is to plan that path. People who seem destined to walk a Path set by someone else, do so because they fail to think outside the box they have been put in. Remember to see the vision of your dreams and desires that can be achieved - something to make plans toward.

Walk the path you choose.

The Important Lesson

Ewan McGregor once said, "Never act like you are bigger or more important than anyone else, even if those people are the poorest people on earth. The most important lesson I learnt travelling this world is that everyone everywhere deserves your respect."

I totally agreed.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's responsible, and respectful and the way to build relationships. To respect a person is not possible without knowing him - care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge. Treating everyone from strangers, friends, family in this manner, and we should expect the same in return. When we are treated in this manner people are accepting us for who we are, and that we have value.

No one deserves to be treated poorly not even when they made a mistake. Treating us badly does not mean that they can ignore us either. When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us.

The people who treat anyone appropriately should deserve lots of smiles and appreciation and as well as time.

Remember that everyone have differences and differences make a team strong.

What We Are Living For

They say the attitude of successful person are their integrity, they treasure, they are always grateful, diligent and they remain honest. This are traits people don't notice and don't talk about.

But how many people has forgotten the above. Alot of time, people told me they want to be rich. But how much money then would they consider they are rich? Have they also put in hard work?

We have came across people who did not put in effort like the rest of his peers, but yet get the promotion or pay rise.

Some say they work very hard but nothing seem to be going for them. But what do they mean when they claim they have work hard? We have seen people who run around events to events, saying they are "networking" with potential clients but after months of it, no sales came in. So is it "networking" or "partying"?

Remember your boss or manager who asked you to help with an important project for him and to be completed within a tight deadline? How many actually acknowledge your hardwork? Or worst, not even saying a word of "thank you"? But you are diligent and also grateful that they employed you in the 1st place, so does that make you more successful than they are??

The important thing to note here - learn how to protect yourself from other people.

There are incidences of unethical & unscrupulous rich people around and how many have suffered from their act? When you act with integrity, your customers, colleagues and staff will place their trust in you. They know that you mean, what you say and that you will not let them down. Remember that it takes a lifetime to build and only a second to lose.


Having purpose, the above attitude and living in the present moment rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future need constant reminder. Whilst external things can bring us great pleasure, it seems that the pleasure can be quite temporary and leaves us wanting more, because we adapt very quickly to our new circumstances.

Remember the important essence in life and also what we are living for.

Teasing that hurts

Sometimes teasing can be really hurtful and can change your life.

I was waiting for my friend the other day and there was this group of secondary school students near me. I overheard their conversation (not that I want to eavesdrop but they are talking really loudly, one was saying to a female student, "How come you are still fat, thought you say you want to lose weight?" With that, the rest of them laughed aloud.

The female student who was being teased could only smiled along with them. What can she say? I could see that she was beginning to feel conscious about it and although she was smiling but her eyes were really sad.

How many of us has actually being tease at or worst, have without thinking tease another person? The laughter and sacrastic remarks from this "so-call-friends" that have hurt you so deeply, you remember it till the day you die.

I remember when I was in my secondary school day, I actively took part in CCA and started to get to know a lot of people. I was happy and confident. One day, a guy from the same CCA came up to me and asked how I was doing. After a while, he went back to join his group of friends. He came back again and told me, infront of my other friends, "My friend said that you are fat." And he went off.

Luckily, I was with some of my girlfriends and I just let it go. That night, when I was alone in my room, I couldn't stop staring into the mirror. Asking myself over and over again, " Am I fat? I thought I look great." Over and over again.

Teasing started because people like to be entertained. Why contribute by laughing along with the "teaser" so to belong to the group? Have a mind of your own. Teaser don't have many ideas about how to get along with others. Teasing is not OK if it hurts people's feelings. Alot of time, people tease because they think it's fun. They don't really think about how the person being teased is feeling.

Often, when the person being teased gets upset, the one doing the teasing will try to get themselves out of taking responsibility for what they said by saying something like, "Can't you take a joke?" But they know it wasn't just a joke really. They said it even though they knew it might be upsetting, because they think it's fun and have never thought about what it's like to be the other person and have their hurt feelings.

I hope the guys that teased me have grown up to be more respectful and a mature person.

Butchering the English Language

The English language...ahhh....the beauty of the medium of our communication; a language that we use on a daily basis. Lately though, I am discovering words in the English language that have been butchered in our daily communication that has made me laugh sometimes (with the speaker questioning why I find what they have said incredible and funny). For all readers, please note that I am not talking about Singlish or criticizing such but I am referring to actual daily English used on a regular basis.

When I arrived in Singapore in 2005 from North America, I was surprised by some words that were used because such words were never used to describe the actions in North America and would have been laughed at. Below is a summary of the words (italicized words are the interesting words):

1. "I shall check with my boss and revert to you....."
2. "XXX has been convicted of drink driving and sentenced to...."
3. "Irregardless of this matter, you should not do the following...."

The above is just a sample of the "interesting" usage of the English language that I have discovered. So what's wrong with each of them? Let me explain....

1. With regards to item (1), I am sure that many have seen and used the word "revert" on a daily basis in emails and text messages. Nothing wrong you say...but wait a minute. "Revert" in the English dictionary actually means "to return to an original state" and used mainly to explain returning to an original form. In the example of item (1) then, my question then is what original state would the speaker be returning to after speaking with the boss? This is extremely hilarious because I want the speaker to get back to me with an answer and not go into some original state (liquid, gas, solid). The use of this word is definitely hilarious because it carries a different meaning from the intended purpose.
2. Drink Driving: What's wrong with this phrase you ask? It is used by the papers, local government officials, newspapers etc...therefore, it must be correct! Wrong!! By analyzing the words "drink driving" to indicate someone who is drunk and driving is completely off the mark as to what we want to portray. By analyzing the words "drink driving", we realize it is actually derived from combining drinking and driving. Now, think carefully about this...is drinking and driving actually an offense or is being drunk and driving the true offense? I believe it is the latter. Drinking and driving is not per se an offense (although I do not encourage this!) unless the driver is drunk. The law in Singapore stipulates that to be deemed legally drunk, the person must have a blood alcohol content above 0.08. As such, to drink and drive is not legally wrong because one glass of wine does not make my blood alcohol rise above the limit. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with drink driving but the offense should be drunk driving because the offender is drunk and driving, not drinking and driving!
3. Irregardless: This word should be obvious why it is problematic...basically, the word irregardless is a double negative and no such word exists! There is only regardless as a word. However, I constantly hear people using this word but have never understood how one could arrive at this word since it's non-existent.

I have written the above not to criticize but to allow a better understanding for all who speak the English language. Wrong usage of words can bring about laughs and sometimes misunderstandings. Even though I understand that people here in Singapore may understand the meanings of the words as it is used daily but do spare a thought for the foreigners (which are rising in numbers), and the tourists who have no clue what you are talking about. Also, please note that the use of such words in a foreign country may contribute to serious misunderstandings about Singaporean culture or views because people may think that Singapore prohibits people from having a drink before they drive (as an example).

These are just some of my thoughts...please do contribute if anyone out there has heard of additional "interesting" use of the English language locally in Singapore. Anyway, these words have intrigued me for several years and I am now finally able to share....

Jealous people at work and getting praise

On every job, we will always came across people who are jealous of us. I have friends who told me they work hard and get things done but their efforts are not being paid off or recognised. Perhaps it is their boss or someone else in their company that hinder their success or even having a "stable" job.

You are good at what you do because you put the time into your job to make something happen.

Co-worker may be jealous of us because we give our company more business, a pay raise or promotion. The good news is, if we have someone that is jealous of us at work, then we know that we are doing the right thing. The fact is, people can only be jealous of us if we do the right thing most of the time and if we are good at what we do.

Jealous colleagues at work may look us with an evil eye or just act nasty when we go around them (That's why sometimes my friends complaint why this it so). Well, this is very common in today's society. Some people just want to act like they know everything and that they are the ones that show happiness to the whole world. These people got to look themselves in the mirror and figure out why they are not as good as they think.

Jealousy is sparked by someone that feels as though they are beneath us simply do not see them as good as us. Jealous could usually sparked when someone doesn't get their own way or when they do not get recognized by others who are around them.

Jealous people want everyone to look at them with the same respect that they give to us. However, respect is given with time and with knowledge.

But, sometimes life is just sad. Because it could be happen the other way round where you could do well for the company by bringing in business for them but they refused to recognise your success. Perhaps, the boss wants to get away with a pay raise or incentives..

Best is to remain humble, but not to the point where our own contributions are unrecognized. Worst, don’t appear fragile and weak.

Some crazy ideas that may work:
Sometimes people take things for granted simply because they’ve always reliably gotten done. Well, as human where memory is short, we have to remind our boss that it’s us doing them and pray that he remember the effort involved and be properly appreciated.

We have our customers who love us. Next time one of them drops an e-mail or note thanking us, make sure a copy goes to the boss.

The annoying thing can also be that Boss sometimes sees the "problem" areas but overlooks the great and compliments were all but brushed off. I guess being thick-skin helps. Example if we sucessfully clinch in a business for the company and the boss just thanked me, and that was that. I would say, “Aren’t you going to anounce it?”

Sometimes we just want to ask for a pat on the back. Strangely, it do feel good!