My breastfed children

I breastfed my 1st child till she was 18months old and I am still breastfeeding my 2nd one. She is now 15months old.  I think I could continue breastfeeding Stacy but then I got Preggy with Erica and the milk might have changed.  Stacy weaned off on her own. I read an article saying that if a child wean off on their own, they will be more independent.  Well, we see...

Breastfeeding has never been easy. You can ask any bf mums. Dealing with engorgement,  fever, pressure at work, disapproval, etc, etc. when I am struggling with Stacy on her latching and getting enough milk to feed her, I searched the net, helpline for breastfeeding mums, consulted friends who bf... I cried a lot. It was really a struggle and not many people understand. Others asked if it is so tough, just give the bottle. Sigh.. I don't know, why I never give up and I see my efforts and perseverance pays off. It gets easier and easier. I even gave advises to friends who want to breastfeed and were successful!

Some people say after the child is 1year old, should not breastfeed anymore as breastmilk has no nutritional value for them. I prove them wrong. I did my homework of cos'.  It's my decision. http://sg.theasianparent.com/extended-breastfeeding-need-to-know/

My intention is to breastfeed Erica until she could hold a cup really well and I will let her drink powdered milk.  So need to worry about have a milk bottle when traveling!!

Lacanau Ocean & Sand Dune - Lacanau & Dune du Pilat, Aquitance

Took a relax weekend to go Lacanau Ocean and visiting a sand dune.
Love the ocean alot! Cos' there aren't any beaches in Toulouse. First day, we went to the ocean. Wonderful place! As long as the children love it!

2nd day, went to the sand dune. Only need to pay 4euros for parking lot, no need to pay for any entrance fees unlike some tourist atttaction. Went with 2 young children. I would say its better to bring a carrier to carry babies and toddlers. Although I do see some people pushing their strollers (its possible but may be difficult to push once you reach the sandy area) and after that you can leave your stroller and climb up the steps. It's better to wear shoes or slippers which you do not mind sand going into. I saw alot of people taking off their shoes to walk instead. Once we reached the top by stairs, we are greeted by strong wind (remember your sunglasses as sand could go into your eyes) and magnificent views of the forest and sea. Some people bring a picnic, however, it is easy to find food at cafes. They serve yummy food at reasonable price. Alot of people there speak English. There are shops selling clothes, accessories, postcards, toys and alot more. You find a tap nearby to wash sand off your body too. We really love the place. Adults get to take nice photos and children get to play with the sand.

I treasure my weekends!

Back to blogging or writing

It's back to blogging for me. Thanks to a friend. When I saw her blogging actively, I suddenly remember my 'almost forgotten' blog. I started my blog when I was a student (that was so long ago). Now that I'm married with children, what I blog about, I guess, revolve around my time with the people I love dearly.

About 8 months ago, I'm still in Singapore working and then one day, my husband told me his company is sending him to France for work on an expat term. Of cos' I' m happy for him but also the little time that we have to pack and go was a very hard and harsh decision to make. My 2nd child, Erica was only 4months old. Oh well...

Now, here we are staying in Toulouse, France. I suddenly becomes a housewife (but I told my husband, I'm like a housefly -annoying the kids). Haha.

Judgments

It has indeed been a while since any updates were made to this blog and I do apologize to all our loyal readers who had been looking for new entries. Well, things have been a little busy as the economy is now back on track and the business world has heated up; hence we all have to work. However, despite all the hustle of work, I have never ceased to ponder various questions that bother us.

To start off my first entry of the year, I have been pondering a philosophical question in my life; i.e. the question of judging other people. I am a little perplexed by some of the comments that have come to my attention lately as I speak to people. In an earlier entry in this blog, I had discussed how treatment was different for me whether people viewed me as a Canadian or a local and depending on how I speak, again, judgments are made about who I am. However, what has perplexed me is the philosophical question of "Do you really know me?" This, to me, is the ultimate question that I have been pondering even though I know that judgments are unavoidable as this is part of the human psyche as we try to categorize actions/information so that it is understandable to us.

However, this does not necessarily mean that our judgments are correct. For example, take the following situation as an example:

• While at work, you observe a colleague who seems to be relaxed, surfs the internet on a regular basis, doesn't seem to spend the full 8 hours at work but completes his work and deliverables with no issues. What do you make of this observation? Skiving, unmotivated employee, employee who doesn't care, or wrong job for the person?; or
• A person who is qualified in a professional capacity such as as an engineer, lawyer, or doctor, but chooses a different career path in life? Is this person a failure?
• What if the person in the second scenario has chosen the path as a personal choice or lifestyle but may not be able to openly explain the decision?

Well, the above scenarios are all common scenarios that we have faced and I am sure many have made snap judgments when we came across such situations; I know I am no exception. However, if we think carefully, do we know the full story or is the judgment based solely on our values and belief system that may not reflect the truth?

Take for example the first scenario. As a boss, you would automatically look at the situation and jump on the fact that the employee was not a good employee; he/she was not being challenged enough and is utilizing company time to perform personal tasks and this employee needs more work (this, though, may be a simplistic view but you get the meaning). However, let's take a look at the bigger picture here. I would say that mere observation would not be sufficient. After all, hasn't the employee fulfilled his/her part of the bargain as an employee?; bear in mind, the employee is able to complete their tasks as per what you had set out for them in line with the value that you have paid the employee, i.e. salary. As such, what did the employee do wrong? Perhaps the question would be whether you, as the boss, have fulfilled your end of your bargain in furthering the employee, perhaps you have not provided sufficient leadership for the employee? Again, we look at the situation only through our own lenses without further investigation. Similarly, in the second scenario, if we were raised with certain beliefs that such professionals have spent a large investment in obtaining their qualifications and it would be a waste to throw it all away, we would similarly view their actions negatively and even develop explanations to justify their actions just so we can understand it. Again, we do not investigate the situation.

So what am I saying? When we look at a situation, things are never always what they seem. We need to open ourselves up to the fact that the world is ever-changing with different situations. Everyone is different and we all have a story. However, we cannot use judgments or our own beliefs to necessarily assess another as our judgments can be flawed and myopic; sometimes we also judge so that we may make sense of what we see (more for ourselves) instead of making the sense of the information to understand the situation. This is a common flaw for all of us; when we speak or look at others, we tend to critique them based on our values instead of assessing the situation based on the "big picture".

Yes, some people do state that they base their judgments on the facts but again, I would ask whose facts are those. Aren't all facts interpreted through your own beliefs and a judgment made? Don't we still look through lenses because facts alone don't mean anything just like $100 to a poor man is a huge amount but to a billionaire, it is nothing. In such a case, whose judgment is correct even though we have assessed the same facts; the fact is that we looked at the same fact of $100!

As such, I am proposing to all that we need to assess ourselves before we place judgment upon others; don't jump to conclusions in what you see unless you are able to detach yourself from your own values. Until then, my suggestion would be to hear people out, enjoy their story and allow their experiences to enhance your understanding of the world (as it is a big place), and take them as who they are. We are all different with different aspirations and it is through this understanding and enhancement that we all grow in our lives.

This issue has got me thinking....and I hope that you enjoy my first post of the year!

Move On

"Just move on", said one of my schoolmates.

That day in class, I have a concern about my passion and the process of moving towards what I wanted to do. I shared with him that it has been a very tough time for me and that I needed a chance and someone to recognise my passion. I would say that I'm already in the process of what I wanted to do but often, the path do seem so far away. At times, I thought going back to what I originally do, is so much easier.

That's when my friend guestured 'no' and said, "just move on". This schoolmate of mine, came from an engineering background and he told me he wanted to be more of a "people-person". That is why he is interested in studying Social Science after many years of working in the engineering field.

I thought these 3 words were so simple, yet it encouraged me to move forward again. The reasons for choosing what I am passionate about, came back flooding my mind. I do feel better, I do feel "on path".

Sometimes, being with people who will be honest with you, yet give the emotional support and encouragement we all need when the going gets tough, do helps.

We fear what we do not know

The newspaper headline, "What you don't know, you fear" caught my attention.

It is indeed very true that people fear the unknown because it is beyond our ability to control and often presents us with truths that would compel us to change. Perhaps, we think that what we don't know can hurt us?

Looking deeper, it is the fear of the "uncertainty" that we fear certain outcomes.
In humans, that 'self-awareness' could help us evolve better into taking care of ourselves those around us. But in life, we find too many uncertainties. Lack of trust in others, lack of trust in almost everything, slowly builds up that 'unknown' fear. The fear of, "Any thing can happen, even we do not know what those things could be." This, undoubtedly, have saved many human lives in the past as our fear protects us from what could potentially damage us.

One of the biggest fears is losing what we have. It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard to attain, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about. We need to remember that focusing our energy on fear can actually create what scares us.

Often, we fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness. We can however, manage and shift our attention to the right place. We can stop fearing loss of money or success because when we understand how it is created. We can always create more.

We can stop fearing loss of possessions. We can stop judging what we are not sure. We do not assume by jumping to conclusions about what's right and wrong or our mind will be closed and misinterpret.

By focusing on our fears, We can choose instead to direct our thoughts and creative, innovative power toward things of true value.

Note: Never guess at what happened and don't judge until the facts are out, this way, we can minimise the fear in us.

Walk the Path you choose

I have been faced at times with harsh reality. That harsh reality is that even though I feel strongly about making this aspect of my life a successful one, there will be others that do not believe it is possible. I have seen the expressions and reactions of people when I tell them that I am looking at change in career - a career that I have a passion in.

For someone else, it could be in their choice of major in school or it could be in the career that they are attempting to create for themselves, or a position in their current profession that they are striving toward. Whatever the task or goal may be, most all of us at some point in time will face a negative response from someone that for whatever reason does not believe in your ability to succeed.

Till date, it still take a lot of hard work and perseverance on my behalf. If you like me, have hit a wall in one direction, then back up and find another direction to go in. But never stop trying to move forward with your dream.

We are a product of our environment, we are shaped by environment, our parents, teachers, and friends. One of the greatest methods to walk your path is to plan that path. People who seem destined to walk a Path set by someone else, do so because they fail to think outside the box they have been put in. Remember to see the vision of your dreams and desires that can be achieved - something to make plans toward.

Walk the path you choose.