Caning

Recently, there has been a lot of debates among parents whether to use the cane on children who misbehave. The issue also stated that public caning in school will humiliate that student and causes him low self-esteem and low confidence in the future.

I speak on my personal view. Almost everyone when young had been caned by our parents, sometimes even resort to whatever they can get their hands on, eg. belt, hanger, etc.

Today parents do not resort to caning their 'precious' children. Some say that caning is not solving the problem. The more you cane, the more the child loses his fear of it. The wounds will heal but the scar may not go away. Others say if the cane is needed, it should be used only once or twice, and at appropriate parts of the body like the legs, the palms or the bottom. Of course, there can never be a good reason for adults to inflict violence on children.

In school, teachers struggle every day with often outrageous behaviour. However, the best schools and teachers know that the basis of good behaviour must always be mutual respect, constant encouragement and firm rules. For the toughest cases, remedial behaviour programmes need to be installed.

Of course, teachers would not have these problems if parents did their job at home. That is where the seeds of good behaviour are sown.

I was asking one of my friends the other day who has two children. I asked her what will she do if her children misbehave in school and the principal inform her that the school has to publicly cane her children. She told me she will shout back at the principal and said "Its my kids and I will teach them myself. What gives you the right to do so!"

That is the problem with some parents. Someone once said " If you don't teach your kids properly, then somebody else would."

Everyone of us are taught and disciplined differently when we are young. Some got the caning, some got away with scolding. But when would hitting a child cross the line into abuse?

• Any unnecessary physical pain, suffering or injury
• Any emotional injury
• Any injury to his health or development.

Hitting a child once could be enough to scar or hurt a child. And abuse might occur even if there are no signs of physical injury on the child. Parent who hurls vulgarities at a child every other day is abusing the child, mentally and emotionally.

Some parents reward their children for good behaviour and if they misbehave, they talk to them about the consequences of their bad behaviour, and then makes them stand in a quiet corner for a few minutes to reflect on their actions.

End of the day, nothing beats spending quality time with the children. Just this point alone, has make parents regret and blaming themselves for not doing anything earlier. Don't wait until its too late.