A friend who is overweight told me that he got angry with his good friend for being insensitive. It goes like this: Both of them went shopping and an overweight woman walked past them. When the woman was gone, his good friend burst out laughing and said "oh, she's so fat!" And this friend was thinking, "Hey, I'm fat too, so are you laughing at me?" Till this day, his "good" friend still did not not why they don't go out anymore.
I got this too. Not that people laugh at me that I am fat but that person was insensitive to my nationality. It goes like this: She is going to host a party and she texted her friends using her mobile to remember to RSVP. Few days past and some of her friends did not reply her so she decided to asked them directly. Her friends' answers are like, "still thinking", "not sure whether can make it". She got angry and that day (I happened to be around) and she told her other friends, "(she said the nationality) are so rude, they won't RSVP. Asked them about it and they are still so indecisive. All (she said the nationality again) are this kind of attitude!"
Well, at that time I was the only person that is the nationality that she mentioned. My face went red and I didn't not how to reply. The thing is, I am not one of them, I RSVP ed.
I wanted very much to say, :"Ah.. it depends on what kind of friends you have, right? I don't think my friends will do that to me." But I choose to remain silent.
A lot of the actions or words we exhibit are direct consequences on are how we are raised in - our parents or the general community. If we are taught how to be sensitive towards others' feeling, we grow up practising it.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Spoilt kids
(Picture from cartoonStock)
I find this picture very relevant to today kids. Well, not all are like that. There are a handful who appreciate having anything they can find on the table or in the fridge, as long as it fill their stomach.
A scary growing numbers of today youth are so spoilt at home, they carry this behaviour with them everywhere they go. With parents bowing to every demand at home, such youth thinks they do not have to follow the same rules outside.
They don't want to take responsibility in what they do, messy, disrespectful and often scolded their domestic helper, make a lot of noise in public, rude and ill-mannered, laugh loudly at people in distressed and never offer to help, etc.. (too many to name all, add if u can)
I was asking my friend the other day. "What if your child behave this way?" I said.
She told me, " this is acceptable as long as they don't do drugs or kill anyone."
Right.... That's the problem.
Kids could no longer distinguished what is right and wrong and will become or do things self-centeredly.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Anger Management
Recently, I have friends who got angry at the tinest, little things that happen around them. I don't know, blame it on the overcrowding here, recession, noisy kids, low tolerance among human....
Well, anger is a completely normal. But it can turns destructive and lead to problems that may affect our everyday activities. And it can make us feel as though we're at the mercy of a powerful emotion.
Human as we are, the natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. And I agree that unexpressed anger can create other problems. A certain amount of anger is necessary to our survival. But we just can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us.
Let's face it, we can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that anger you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
People who are easily angered generally have a low tolerance for frustration and would get particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust.
These are the 3 tips that could ease ourselves up:
- Timing: If we always end up quarreling or fighting with our love ones, e.g at night, we could try changing the times when we talk about important matters.
- Avoidance: If walking into a messy house/ room makes us furious every time (this happen to me all the time), shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what anger you. Keep calm.
- Finding alternatives: If our daily commute through traffic, whether in train, bus or car, could leaves us in a state of rage and frustration, map out a different route or avoid that timing.
( I have one friend who left his office 5mins from his usual time and he find his route home less crowded). Well, sometimes traffic is hard to gauge..
Another thing: Getting angry is not going to fix anything and it won't make us feel any better.
Well, anger is a completely normal. But it can turns destructive and lead to problems that may affect our everyday activities. And it can make us feel as though we're at the mercy of a powerful emotion.
Human as we are, the natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. And I agree that unexpressed anger can create other problems. A certain amount of anger is necessary to our survival. But we just can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us.
Let's face it, we can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that anger you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
People who are easily angered generally have a low tolerance for frustration and would get particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust.
These are the 3 tips that could ease ourselves up:
- Timing: If we always end up quarreling or fighting with our love ones, e.g at night, we could try changing the times when we talk about important matters.
- Avoidance: If walking into a messy house/ room makes us furious every time (this happen to me all the time), shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what anger you. Keep calm.
- Finding alternatives: If our daily commute through traffic, whether in train, bus or car, could leaves us in a state of rage and frustration, map out a different route or avoid that timing.
( I have one friend who left his office 5mins from his usual time and he find his route home less crowded). Well, sometimes traffic is hard to gauge..
Another thing: Getting angry is not going to fix anything and it won't make us feel any better.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The challenge comes
The other day, I blogged on "Pursue what you love'. True enough, the path to be able to do what you want is definitely very challenging.
When we figure out what we love, we seek approval from someone else. The truth is, you will never get final approval from someone else. Even if you get the approval from someone else, their approval will be conditional. Sadly, I have seen people’s dreams rejected by people they thought they could count on for support.
We work at jobs that lead to careers so we can retire, and then, we do what we enjoy. But the reality isn't so. To pursue the work we love, many people decide they must make what they made before. This is not the way to view this.
After encountering the above and you still have not turn your back, what will you expect or do next?
-You have to take action. Do a lot of research, meet and talk to people that are already doing what you want to do.
- Expect loneliness. It’s a lonely road because there are very few people on it.
-The risks and tradeoffs we have to make to pursue our dreams can seem impractical at some stage in our lives. The temptation of simply taking up a job and postpone the next phase of their life for ten years or even forever.
- You feel emptiness. Crisis will hit any person in the course of their life. And they come in different shapes and sizes and it is normal to have one, or even more than one. It can be family, layoff or illnesses. The "pulling through" stage is the hurdle that we have to over come.
A note: The greatest gift you ever give yourself is figuring out what you want and making a plan to pursue it.
If you are on the way to pursue what you love, I’ll be cheering you on as you go.
When we figure out what we love, we seek approval from someone else. The truth is, you will never get final approval from someone else. Even if you get the approval from someone else, their approval will be conditional. Sadly, I have seen people’s dreams rejected by people they thought they could count on for support.
We work at jobs that lead to careers so we can retire, and then, we do what we enjoy. But the reality isn't so. To pursue the work we love, many people decide they must make what they made before. This is not the way to view this.
After encountering the above and you still have not turn your back, what will you expect or do next?
-You have to take action. Do a lot of research, meet and talk to people that are already doing what you want to do.
- Expect loneliness. It’s a lonely road because there are very few people on it.
-The risks and tradeoffs we have to make to pursue our dreams can seem impractical at some stage in our lives. The temptation of simply taking up a job and postpone the next phase of their life for ten years or even forever.
- You feel emptiness. Crisis will hit any person in the course of their life. And they come in different shapes and sizes and it is normal to have one, or even more than one. It can be family, layoff or illnesses. The "pulling through" stage is the hurdle that we have to over come.
A note: The greatest gift you ever give yourself is figuring out what you want and making a plan to pursue it.
If you are on the way to pursue what you love, I’ll be cheering you on as you go.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Squeezing my way out
That does it! I couldn't stand it anymore so i decided to pen it down to cool it off.
This happened in the train almost everyday.
1) People who rush in when the commuters have not stepped out of the train.
2) Pole dancing wannabes. They lean their whole frame onto the pole and no one can grab onto anything in case the train jerks.
3) people in the train either sitting or standing, holding their handphone and pretending to sms, while taking picture of something they see that they don't like, and don't dare to confront, to post in stomp
4)people who clip their nails, dig their nose and flip their hair in your direction.
5)Coughing or sneezing without covering mouth or nose.
6) those who take a long time to get out of the train
7) people who don't shower in the morning and stink up the whole train.
8) play loud music from their handphones/mp3 players or some gadgets to 'share' their fantastic taste in music
9)People who huddle near the door and don't budge when others are trying to get in, then when they get accidentally bumped into and then glare at you.
10) people who put their stuff on the seats next to them.
11) parents who let their kids run around the train.
12) People who cut your queue as you wait near the door when the train is coming to a stop.
13) Those who sit on the floor / talk loudly on the phone and swearing.
14) perpetual stares from 'perverts'
The lists goes on. Add on to the lists if you can.
Tolerance is a must for me.
This happened in the train almost everyday.
1) People who rush in when the commuters have not stepped out of the train.
2) Pole dancing wannabes. They lean their whole frame onto the pole and no one can grab onto anything in case the train jerks.
3) people in the train either sitting or standing, holding their handphone and pretending to sms, while taking picture of something they see that they don't like, and don't dare to confront, to post in stomp
4)people who clip their nails, dig their nose and flip their hair in your direction.
5)Coughing or sneezing without covering mouth or nose.
6) those who take a long time to get out of the train
7) people who don't shower in the morning and stink up the whole train.
8) play loud music from their handphones/mp3 players or some gadgets to 'share' their fantastic taste in music
9)People who huddle near the door and don't budge when others are trying to get in, then when they get accidentally bumped into and then glare at you.
10) people who put their stuff on the seats next to them.
11) parents who let their kids run around the train.
12) People who cut your queue as you wait near the door when the train is coming to a stop.
13) Those who sit on the floor / talk loudly on the phone and swearing.
14) perpetual stares from 'perverts'
The lists goes on. Add on to the lists if you can.
Tolerance is a must for me.
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