I always find it amazing and yet curious that French children are very well behave. What I'm saying is that they know how to sit properly at the dinner table, speak softly and politely, say 'thank you' (or 'merci' in French), use the word 'please' (or sil vous plait in French), etc. Even babies could sit quietly in their stroller for 1.5hrs - 2hrs while the parents eat in peace.
Alright, it make my children seem like monsters in France public area. With their shouting, screaming, crying, runnning and walking around during meal time, make me want to bury my head in the ground.
In Singapore, I felt completely at ease when I bring them to restaurants, even with their loud voices or walking around after they finished their meals. Nobody care or seem aware of it.
When I arrived in France, I brought my children to a restaurant. BIG mistake. Stacy talked loudly (young children can't control their excitement)and Erica was crying (as she wanted her nap). Everyone in that restaurant were staring at us! Not sure whether they pitied us (Ken and I) or we were disturbing their peaceful meals. To make matter worse, food served to us were by courses, appetiser, main course, dessert and then follow by coffee. That 1hr seem like forever! !! We quickly finished our food and left, not forgetting a little bit more tips.
I asked my friends who have children in France about how they get their kids to behave in public. Some said that the misbehave kids used to get spanked (now, they told me French people don't spank their kids due to child abuse regulations, how true I don't know) . Babies, they use the 'cry it out method'. Parents don't pick up their crying babies the instant they cry but they adopt the 'wait and see' method. Which means babies learn to smoothe themselves to sleep.
Ok, cry it out method doesn't work for my children. I thought I tried once to see whether Erica can smoothe herself to sleep when she was a baby. For that half an hour (which seem like forever) she never stopped crying. So loud was her crying, I think police might come knocking on our door. And I felt so bad, I think babies cry because they need something and they can't talk so crying are their communication to us. I also read somewhere that babies who cry and who their caregiver pick them up to comfort them, they grew up feeling more secure. I stand by this theory. I can't bear to see any babies cry and not being pick up and finding out what has cause the discomfort.
So there are really no misbehave French kids? Another friend told me, there are definitely the misbehave kids, its just that we never see them. Their parents never bring them to a restaurant till they are older. They engage a babysitter for a few hours so the parents can enjoy a nice meals together. The well behave kids he told me, the parents start teaching appropriate behaviour when they are really small and are always consistent in how they want them to behave. Well, easy to say that, but it's really not the same with every child, right.
I'm still struggling with my kids. I just see that the older Stacy is, she seems to control her temper melt down better. And also before entering a French restaurant, I would ask whether they are ok with having children dining there. Please note that most restaurants do not have a high chair for babies and toddlers. Either you bring your own booster seat or a stroller. Sometimes these are what I miss in SIngapore - child friendly restaurants.
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