Move On

"Just move on", said one of my schoolmates.

That day in class, I have a concern about my passion and the process of moving towards what I wanted to do. I shared with him that it has been a very tough time for me and that I needed a chance and someone to recognise my passion. I would say that I'm already in the process of what I wanted to do but often, the path do seem so far away. At times, I thought going back to what I originally do, is so much easier.

That's when my friend guestured 'no' and said, "just move on". This schoolmate of mine, came from an engineering background and he told me he wanted to be more of a "people-person". That is why he is interested in studying Social Science after many years of working in the engineering field.

I thought these 3 words were so simple, yet it encouraged me to move forward again. The reasons for choosing what I am passionate about, came back flooding my mind. I do feel better, I do feel "on path".

Sometimes, being with people who will be honest with you, yet give the emotional support and encouragement we all need when the going gets tough, do helps.

We fear what we do not know

The newspaper headline, "What you don't know, you fear" caught my attention.

It is indeed very true that people fear the unknown because it is beyond our ability to control and often presents us with truths that would compel us to change. Perhaps, we think that what we don't know can hurt us?

Looking deeper, it is the fear of the "uncertainty" that we fear certain outcomes.
In humans, that 'self-awareness' could help us evolve better into taking care of ourselves those around us. But in life, we find too many uncertainties. Lack of trust in others, lack of trust in almost everything, slowly builds up that 'unknown' fear. The fear of, "Any thing can happen, even we do not know what those things could be." This, undoubtedly, have saved many human lives in the past as our fear protects us from what could potentially damage us.

One of the biggest fears is losing what we have. It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard to attain, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about. We need to remember that focusing our energy on fear can actually create what scares us.

Often, we fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness. We can however, manage and shift our attention to the right place. We can stop fearing loss of money or success because when we understand how it is created. We can always create more.

We can stop fearing loss of possessions. We can stop judging what we are not sure. We do not assume by jumping to conclusions about what's right and wrong or our mind will be closed and misinterpret.

By focusing on our fears, We can choose instead to direct our thoughts and creative, innovative power toward things of true value.

Note: Never guess at what happened and don't judge until the facts are out, this way, we can minimise the fear in us.

Walk the Path you choose

I have been faced at times with harsh reality. That harsh reality is that even though I feel strongly about making this aspect of my life a successful one, there will be others that do not believe it is possible. I have seen the expressions and reactions of people when I tell them that I am looking at change in career - a career that I have a passion in.

For someone else, it could be in their choice of major in school or it could be in the career that they are attempting to create for themselves, or a position in their current profession that they are striving toward. Whatever the task or goal may be, most all of us at some point in time will face a negative response from someone that for whatever reason does not believe in your ability to succeed.

Till date, it still take a lot of hard work and perseverance on my behalf. If you like me, have hit a wall in one direction, then back up and find another direction to go in. But never stop trying to move forward with your dream.

We are a product of our environment, we are shaped by environment, our parents, teachers, and friends. One of the greatest methods to walk your path is to plan that path. People who seem destined to walk a Path set by someone else, do so because they fail to think outside the box they have been put in. Remember to see the vision of your dreams and desires that can be achieved - something to make plans toward.

Walk the path you choose.

The Important Lesson

Ewan McGregor once said, "Never act like you are bigger or more important than anyone else, even if those people are the poorest people on earth. The most important lesson I learnt travelling this world is that everyone everywhere deserves your respect."

I totally agreed.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's responsible, and respectful and the way to build relationships. To respect a person is not possible without knowing him - care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge. Treating everyone from strangers, friends, family in this manner, and we should expect the same in return. When we are treated in this manner people are accepting us for who we are, and that we have value.

No one deserves to be treated poorly not even when they made a mistake. Treating us badly does not mean that they can ignore us either. When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us.

The people who treat anyone appropriately should deserve lots of smiles and appreciation and as well as time.

Remember that everyone have differences and differences make a team strong.

What We Are Living For

They say the attitude of successful person are their integrity, they treasure, they are always grateful, diligent and they remain honest. This are traits people don't notice and don't talk about.

But how many people has forgotten the above. Alot of time, people told me they want to be rich. But how much money then would they consider they are rich? Have they also put in hard work?

We have came across people who did not put in effort like the rest of his peers, but yet get the promotion or pay rise.

Some say they work very hard but nothing seem to be going for them. But what do they mean when they claim they have work hard? We have seen people who run around events to events, saying they are "networking" with potential clients but after months of it, no sales came in. So is it "networking" or "partying"?

Remember your boss or manager who asked you to help with an important project for him and to be completed within a tight deadline? How many actually acknowledge your hardwork? Or worst, not even saying a word of "thank you"? But you are diligent and also grateful that they employed you in the 1st place, so does that make you more successful than they are??

The important thing to note here - learn how to protect yourself from other people.

There are incidences of unethical & unscrupulous rich people around and how many have suffered from their act? When you act with integrity, your customers, colleagues and staff will place their trust in you. They know that you mean, what you say and that you will not let them down. Remember that it takes a lifetime to build and only a second to lose.


Having purpose, the above attitude and living in the present moment rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future need constant reminder. Whilst external things can bring us great pleasure, it seems that the pleasure can be quite temporary and leaves us wanting more, because we adapt very quickly to our new circumstances.

Remember the important essence in life and also what we are living for.

Teasing that hurts

Sometimes teasing can be really hurtful and can change your life.

I was waiting for my friend the other day and there was this group of secondary school students near me. I overheard their conversation (not that I want to eavesdrop but they are talking really loudly, one was saying to a female student, "How come you are still fat, thought you say you want to lose weight?" With that, the rest of them laughed aloud.

The female student who was being teased could only smiled along with them. What can she say? I could see that she was beginning to feel conscious about it and although she was smiling but her eyes were really sad.

How many of us has actually being tease at or worst, have without thinking tease another person? The laughter and sacrastic remarks from this "so-call-friends" that have hurt you so deeply, you remember it till the day you die.

I remember when I was in my secondary school day, I actively took part in CCA and started to get to know a lot of people. I was happy and confident. One day, a guy from the same CCA came up to me and asked how I was doing. After a while, he went back to join his group of friends. He came back again and told me, infront of my other friends, "My friend said that you are fat." And he went off.

Luckily, I was with some of my girlfriends and I just let it go. That night, when I was alone in my room, I couldn't stop staring into the mirror. Asking myself over and over again, " Am I fat? I thought I look great." Over and over again.

Teasing started because people like to be entertained. Why contribute by laughing along with the "teaser" so to belong to the group? Have a mind of your own. Teaser don't have many ideas about how to get along with others. Teasing is not OK if it hurts people's feelings. Alot of time, people tease because they think it's fun. They don't really think about how the person being teased is feeling.

Often, when the person being teased gets upset, the one doing the teasing will try to get themselves out of taking responsibility for what they said by saying something like, "Can't you take a joke?" But they know it wasn't just a joke really. They said it even though they knew it might be upsetting, because they think it's fun and have never thought about what it's like to be the other person and have their hurt feelings.

I hope the guys that teased me have grown up to be more respectful and a mature person.

Butchering the English Language

The English language...ahhh....the beauty of the medium of our communication; a language that we use on a daily basis. Lately though, I am discovering words in the English language that have been butchered in our daily communication that has made me laugh sometimes (with the speaker questioning why I find what they have said incredible and funny). For all readers, please note that I am not talking about Singlish or criticizing such but I am referring to actual daily English used on a regular basis.

When I arrived in Singapore in 2005 from North America, I was surprised by some words that were used because such words were never used to describe the actions in North America and would have been laughed at. Below is a summary of the words (italicized words are the interesting words):

1. "I shall check with my boss and revert to you....."
2. "XXX has been convicted of drink driving and sentenced to...."
3. "Irregardless of this matter, you should not do the following...."

The above is just a sample of the "interesting" usage of the English language that I have discovered. So what's wrong with each of them? Let me explain....

1. With regards to item (1), I am sure that many have seen and used the word "revert" on a daily basis in emails and text messages. Nothing wrong you say...but wait a minute. "Revert" in the English dictionary actually means "to return to an original state" and used mainly to explain returning to an original form. In the example of item (1) then, my question then is what original state would the speaker be returning to after speaking with the boss? This is extremely hilarious because I want the speaker to get back to me with an answer and not go into some original state (liquid, gas, solid). The use of this word is definitely hilarious because it carries a different meaning from the intended purpose.
2. Drink Driving: What's wrong with this phrase you ask? It is used by the papers, local government officials, newspapers etc...therefore, it must be correct! Wrong!! By analyzing the words "drink driving" to indicate someone who is drunk and driving is completely off the mark as to what we want to portray. By analyzing the words "drink driving", we realize it is actually derived from combining drinking and driving. Now, think carefully about this...is drinking and driving actually an offense or is being drunk and driving the true offense? I believe it is the latter. Drinking and driving is not per se an offense (although I do not encourage this!) unless the driver is drunk. The law in Singapore stipulates that to be deemed legally drunk, the person must have a blood alcohol content above 0.08. As such, to drink and drive is not legally wrong because one glass of wine does not make my blood alcohol rise above the limit. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with drink driving but the offense should be drunk driving because the offender is drunk and driving, not drinking and driving!
3. Irregardless: This word should be obvious why it is problematic...basically, the word irregardless is a double negative and no such word exists! There is only regardless as a word. However, I constantly hear people using this word but have never understood how one could arrive at this word since it's non-existent.

I have written the above not to criticize but to allow a better understanding for all who speak the English language. Wrong usage of words can bring about laughs and sometimes misunderstandings. Even though I understand that people here in Singapore may understand the meanings of the words as it is used daily but do spare a thought for the foreigners (which are rising in numbers), and the tourists who have no clue what you are talking about. Also, please note that the use of such words in a foreign country may contribute to serious misunderstandings about Singaporean culture or views because people may think that Singapore prohibits people from having a drink before they drive (as an example).

These are just some of my thoughts...please do contribute if anyone out there has heard of additional "interesting" use of the English language locally in Singapore. Anyway, these words have intrigued me for several years and I am now finally able to share....

Jealous people at work and getting praise

On every job, we will always came across people who are jealous of us. I have friends who told me they work hard and get things done but their efforts are not being paid off or recognised. Perhaps it is their boss or someone else in their company that hinder their success or even having a "stable" job.

You are good at what you do because you put the time into your job to make something happen.

Co-worker may be jealous of us because we give our company more business, a pay raise or promotion. The good news is, if we have someone that is jealous of us at work, then we know that we are doing the right thing. The fact is, people can only be jealous of us if we do the right thing most of the time and if we are good at what we do.

Jealous colleagues at work may look us with an evil eye or just act nasty when we go around them (That's why sometimes my friends complaint why this it so). Well, this is very common in today's society. Some people just want to act like they know everything and that they are the ones that show happiness to the whole world. These people got to look themselves in the mirror and figure out why they are not as good as they think.

Jealousy is sparked by someone that feels as though they are beneath us simply do not see them as good as us. Jealous could usually sparked when someone doesn't get their own way or when they do not get recognized by others who are around them.

Jealous people want everyone to look at them with the same respect that they give to us. However, respect is given with time and with knowledge.

But, sometimes life is just sad. Because it could be happen the other way round where you could do well for the company by bringing in business for them but they refused to recognise your success. Perhaps, the boss wants to get away with a pay raise or incentives..

Best is to remain humble, but not to the point where our own contributions are unrecognized. Worst, don’t appear fragile and weak.

Some crazy ideas that may work:
Sometimes people take things for granted simply because they’ve always reliably gotten done. Well, as human where memory is short, we have to remind our boss that it’s us doing them and pray that he remember the effort involved and be properly appreciated.

We have our customers who love us. Next time one of them drops an e-mail or note thanking us, make sure a copy goes to the boss.

The annoying thing can also be that Boss sometimes sees the "problem" areas but overlooks the great and compliments were all but brushed off. I guess being thick-skin helps. Example if we sucessfully clinch in a business for the company and the boss just thanked me, and that was that. I would say, “Aren’t you going to anounce it?”

Sometimes we just want to ask for a pat on the back. Strangely, it do feel good!

Taste like tears

Somebody told me about a spectacular event that he went for and was very impressed with what the speaker said. The speaker is a medical doctor who decided to go to the rural site of China to offer his medical help for the people there (Some people may knew about this true life story if they had went for the event). He has been at the site for many years and coming back to Singapore once every fortnight.

The doctor said that over there, they are always in need of hydration packs and he learnt how to make the packs there. The ingredients to make are: water, sugar and salt. One day, some young medical doctors came to join his camp. The doctor asked them to make hydration packs as it was running low. The young medical doctors have not done this before and asked him, "How do you know how much to add the water, sugar and salt?"

The doctor said to them, " The solution when you mix it, taste like tears."
The young medical doctors asked, " And how does tears taste like?"
The place that they are in, are so poor and filled with sickness, infection and hardships...who have not cried and tasted their own tears?

This doctor who has a young daughter was also sometimes brought with him to the camp. One day, they came back to Singapore and her grandmother decided to cook green beans as one of the dishes. The grandmother asked the little girl to prepare the green beans by picking out the "deformed" beans and throwing them away. The little girl thought for a while and said, "but they can still be eaten right?"
The grandmother said, "no, just throw them away."

The little girl paced back and forth holding all the "deformed" beans and then showed it to his father. His father comforted her and said, " well, grandma's cooking, we have to listen to what she say."
But the liitle girl asked, " If we take the seeds from this beans and plant it, will the beans grow to become "deformed" again?"

The father is shock yet impressed and proud of her daughter. The answer is "no".

When I asked my friend whether the people attending the event knew what the speaker (doctor) was trying to say. My friend told me it is very unlikely that they will understand the messages because he said the look on the people's face - just lack interest.

Property Speculation & Taxes

I was reading with interest the ongoing debate regarding the proposed IRAS legislation with regards to property/real estate transactions that is going into effect January 2010. Basically, the proposed legislation lays out (in effect) that if a person were to have transacted or sold more than 1 property in the prior 4 years, any subsequent transaction is subject to taxation. So why is this interesting, you ask? Simple...the legislation itself is not very sexy but the public reaction though is one brings interest to me, especially as a foreigner from North America.

In essence, the public sentiment in Singapore is one that is divided into 2 camps. On one side (in the red corner) are the supporters of the legislation who applaud the move as they view that such legislation could reduce the speculation and stabilize/provide purchasing opportunities for genuine purchasers who are buying the property to stay in. In the Blue corner though, we find the opposers of the legislation who have voiced concerns noting that the legislation is not clear and would damage the recovering property market in Singapore, i.e. noting that it would reduce the number of property transactions which contributes to the economy. Members of the blue corner though seem to suggest that there must be clarity in the law as they do not understand what would be considered a speculator and subject to taxes. Interesting arguments put forth by both sides though. Let's take a closer look....

As a quick background to my discussion, I shall clarify that my comparison is based on my experience as a lawyer in North America (Canada & US) and is only my personal opinion. In North America, we have an interesting provision with regards to property. One of the key features is Capital Gains taxation. Basically, the provision states that any property that is sold by the seller and not a primary residence (i.e. the seller does not stay there on a regular basis) is subject to Capital Gains tax upon sale. In the US though, some states provide a cap on the maximum appreciation that a seller can have tax-free which means that even if the residence were a primary residence, a gain above a certain exempt amount is subject to taxation. Also, in both North American countries, provisions are made for tax deductions for interest in order to encourage home ownership; in the US, the interest paid on the mortgage for the primary residence is tax deductible, and in Canada, the interest on the mortgage for property other than the primary residence is tax deductible. Both countries though define earned income for taxation purposes as income derived from any means which includes legitimate and illegitimate purposes; simply put, this includes rental income from property etc.

So why is this background important? Essentially, I do not understand the hoo-hah raised by the people who oppose the IRAS legislation (except that they are afraid that their precious gains are subject to tax). Basically, opposers of the legislation who claim that the legislation is unclear as to who is a speculator should stop being babies about it and stop whining about what they have done. Common sense states that if you are buying a property for purposes other than to be your primary residence, you are speculating to an extent. Why? Simple. How many houses does one need in Singapore? Singapore is basically 42km east to west...can one who buys multiple properties say with a straight face that you are buying one property in the north, one in the south, one in the east and one in the west so that you have a vacation home in different parts of the country? Essentially, why would you buy so many properties? This leads me to the simple answer that one property is a primary residence and the rest are investment.

Now, investments can come in many forms. Rental income is also considered investment. When you rent a property out, the amount that you charge goes into your pocket which frees up other cash for other purposes; essentially, this is a gain because you have earned cash that you otherwise would not have. Another view on this investment relates to sale of the property. When you have multiple properties and you start selling the properties at a gain (you will not sell when its at a loss unless necessary - in which case, the legislation has no effect), you essentially earn income from the sale. As such, shouldn't this be considered earned income for the purposes of taxation because you have derived income which you did not have before? We get taxed on income from employers so why should there be an exception to the sale of property?

Apologies for the digression. This leads me back to my issue on who is a speculator. Basically, by common sense, the person who holds more than one property (primary residence) should be deemed a speculator because you are holding the property not for personal consumption but waiting for a good time to sell the property. Please...for those who are saying that eventually you may consider moving into the property, re-think your excuse because the only reason you would sell off your properties is because the market is hot and not because you do not need it anymore!...who are you kidding? As such, isn't the definition of who a speculator is straight forward? Essentially, what the ranting is all about seems to come from the camp who are speculating and now wish to find a way to excuse their actions.

The result of speculation in the property market is rampant right now. As an example, I visited a recent launch of a condo on the first day and was advised that all the units were sold which fit my budget (which by the way, was enough to purchase a 2 bedroom unit there). Also, the most amusing things was the agent was telling me how she bought a 1 bedroom apartment there and it was great for rental income and the price would appreciate. Now wait a minute...isn't this person speculating and affecting what a genuine buyer like myself can afford when I am purchasing a place so that I may settle in Singapore with my wife-to-be? Why should I pay for the gains of a speculator who is out to make a quick buck at my expense? I work hard for my earned income and get taxed, shouldn't the speculator be subject to the same tax or wait a minute...is it because the speculator has more money and therefore can keep more of it? Hmmm....

Alternatively, some may suggest that if I do not have the money, why not buy a HDB? FYI - Property prices for HDB have increased in proportion to the private property market. Again, who has contributed to this situation. Surprise...surprise...speculation! Also, foreigners are ineligible for HDB properties so how can this be an option for foreigners wanting to establish themselves here for the long term (Note: Not all foreigners here have expat packages eh!).

Air, food and shelter are key requirements for people and the rising cost of housing in Singapore is an issue that must be tackled. It is true that people are leaving the country as the cost of living is skyrocketing. Property and space is limited here but the rampant speculation is not helping genuine buyers establish themselves. I am not advocating that the new legislation is correct but I do view the legislation as a step towards equalizing and stabilizing the market by preventing an overabundance of fluctuation in the market, enabling genuine buyers to purchase a decent home at a decent price instead of being subject to the premiums imposed by the speculators.

I am taxed on my income so why shouldn't the speculators/investors be taxed on theirs? This keeps me pondering as to why the big ruckus except that I believe the speculators are now worried that their pockets will be hit. Housing needs to be affordable as it is one of the essentials of life and should not be subject to the whims of an elite who wants to make gains and keep it at the expense of the rest of us...this keeps me thinking....

The Office Power Hungry

When we talk about office politices, we always say that we don’t want to get involved with all of that and that we are just here to keep our head down and do a job.

Right... as if its going to happen this way.. Dream on..

It would be the wrong move to adopt that rigid attitude. There are many annoying people in the world, so you might as well learn how to deal with them. 5 days a week, when there are humans around,there are bound to be personality clashes from time to time at work and it’s not simply enough to bury our head in the gound all of the time.

Most office politics occur with one or more than one person holding 'or being seen as holding' an amount of power within the office. These people blame others for their mistakes or will try to undermine the efforts and abilities of others to make them feel better about themselves, or simply take your credit. Then have you come across those that don't even want to do anything but could effortlessly pretend that they are working hard. Worst, you could be influence by them!

A lot of people who play office politics do so because they are unsure about their own abilities and achievements and try to conceal their own shortcomings and to make others feel they less worthy. Therefore, it’s important to be proud of our own accomplishments and make sure that our efforts are recognised and noted. If most of the staff are aware that we consistently produce good work, this is far more likely to 'curry favour' than those who are less accomplished than we are but who will also try to undermine us whenever possible. Simply view that as their weakness.

Never allow ourselves to get so upset as we will be giving this person a great deal of power over our feelings. Simply view them as another work problem that must be managed.

Always limit our conversations to job-related topics. Also improve our own relationship with the boss by doing outstanding work, share helpful information and be consistently pleasant and cooperative. And never complain about our co-worker or we end up looking like a whiner.

Always bear in mind: Employees and managers who must concentrate on the political aspects of work may have less time to pay attention their jobs. Which lead to financial loss which may lead to job loss.

True Christianity: Religion, Tolerance, and Understanding

It has been a while since I had posted anything on this blog. However, over the past couple of months, I had been thinking of an issue that has been concerning me greatly; the issue of religion and Christianity. You see, I was baptized and am a Christian who was baptized in the Dutch Christian tradition; to be precise, I was baptized in the Reformed Christian tradition. The reason that this issue of Christianity has bothered me is not because of my questioning my own faith but rather, as I see is, a misunderstanding of what the interpretation of being a christian is all about as well as the grief that some people have suffered as a result of Christians' misunderstnding what the religion is all about.

First, let me explain my christian denomination as I do not want anyone to misunderstand my background and faith in the christian tradition. I was baptized in the Reformed Church which is a denomination of the Protestant faith. As a tradition, the beliefs of the church are very traditionally christian and we follow the teachings of John Calvin, a reformer of the Christian faith during the Reformation period in the 1600s. The Reformation basically is the period that the Roman Catholic church and the Protestants separated to form a separate denomination as they were unhappy with what the Catholic church (at that time, the sole Christian church) was doing and the reformers wanted to renew what the Christian faith was about by bringing fundamental beliefs back into the faith and educating the population in the teachings of the Bible as many were not allowed to look or read the Bible at that time. In addition, the reformers were also "cleaning up" the Church as the Church at that time was corrupt (for those who doubt this, you may study the issues by looking at Christian church history or taking a course in Western Civilization). The Reformers, though, were not fundamentally against the Christian faith but rather, they were interested in exposing the population to the true Christian faith; in a way, they were encouraging the general population to think. Other famous reformers included Martin Luther and John Wycliffe. The closest to the Reformed Church is the Presbyterian tradition.

Well, enough about the reformation as this is not about the reformation history. The reason that I am writing this is because I am alarmed by the stance taken by many Christians with regards to non-christians or espousing the christian faith. Even as a christian, I am sometimes surprised by the comments made (including within my Church as there is no reformed church here in Singapore, I attend a Presbyterian church). Below are some of the issues that have caught me by surprise.

1. Tolerance and the use of certain words to describe other religions
2. Beliefs and understanding of the Bible
3. Evangelism
4. What it means to be Christian

With regards to the first point on tolerance. I am surprised at the words that have been used sometimes to describe other religions. For example, I have heard terms such as "spiritual warfare" or similar to describe places that are heavily populated with other non-christian religions; even between Protestants and Catholics, terms have been used to separate the two. I am appalled by this practice as my understanding of the true christian faith is one of tolerance and love, not one of claiming that the other religion is false. I had been troubled by this terminology and had done some research on this issue. The result that I had discovered is that few people understand who read the Bible understand how it works. The Bible is generally divided into the Old Testament and the New Testament. Many readers tend to forget that both christian books have to be read together in order to understand the text; some readers just read the Old Testament and believe that it's God's word on an issue or others just read the New Testament and believe that this is the Word. Sad to say, both books have to be read in conjunction. However, nowhere in the bible does it describe that other religions are wrong or belong to the devil. By using the term "spiritual warfare", few grasp the fact that one is signifying battle with Satan, i.e. a war between good and evil.

Now this is where I am surprised. I cannot find anything in the Bible to mention that other religions belong to the devil. The only references to other religions are from the Old Testament that states that God will lead the Israelites to the promised land but they must beware not to worship other Gods (the Pagan Gods of the inhabitants of the land) as he has made the Israelites his Children and he is a jealous God; nowhere does it say the other religions are bad but rather he had issued a warning to his own people not to stray from him. Over the years, many though have taken this to mean that other religions are bad or believers of other religions are bad...again this is the result of our fallacy as human beings rather than what the Word of God is.

This leads me to my second point. Beliefs and understanding of the Bible. This is a very sensitive topic to christians as many devout christians would like to believe that they understand the Bible. Let me be very clear on this issue....no one truly understands the Bible as it is written in a way that it is open to interpretation. God gave us the Bible as a book on his instructions which he speaks to Christians through but it does not mean that everything is to be read historically. Having read the Bible from front to back and having taken a theology class does not qualify one to be an expert; reason being (for enlightened christians who understand this element) WE ARE HUMAN AND NOT GOD! (Surprise! Surprise!). Also, God gave us free will which allows us to interpret situations differently and this can cause misunderstandings in our interpretation; only GOD knows what the true interpretation of the Bible is. Therefore, as human beings and christians, let's stop playing God!

Well, this then leads up to another question. Some have said that God speaks directly to them and therefore they have a solid understanding of things that God wants them to do including interpreting the Bible (i.e. making them more favored in God's eyes). Also some have used the writings in the Bible, e.g. Genesis, to dispel evolution as a theory. Lets examine this carefully.

To begin with, God speaks to everyone regardless of whether you are a christian or not! Some may ask me how I can make such a statement and it is blasphemy. Hold on before you decide to burn me at the stake...for all devout christians, read the Bible and ye shall find the answer. God created all of the world and everything in it (according to Genesis) in 6 days and rested on the 7th day. God created us humans as well as his children; we fell out of favor through the original sin of Adam and Eve which resulted in us having free will and the "problems" of the world...looking at this then, aren't we all Children of God then regardless of what religion or creed we belong to? As such, shouldn't God have the ability to speak to all of us regardless of whether we are Christians or not? Want more...in Exodus, God instructed Moses to speak to Pharaoh but he mentioned that he shall harden Pharaoh's heart...in this example, did God speak to Pharaoh or just merely pulled a string and Pharaoh hardened his heart? Let's be honest...God speaks to all of us in his own way and this may be verbal or non-verbal and does not require a burning bush. So for those who believe that God speaks to them directly, let's say that God speaks to all of us as he has a plan for all of us.

Another point to take note...Genesis and evolution can go hand in hand. Remember God created the world in 6 days? Take note 6 days in God's time can mean a thousand years in ours...as christians, we always say the words "in God's time" but do we really understand it or is it just a catch phrase? Also, we have no interpretation of what we humans looked like back then but our images and interpretation is based on what we look like now. Therefore, as God is all forms and all shapes, what is to say we did not evolve because God wanted us to?

Evangelism, my 3rd point. This is a point that I see very constantly a misunderstood issue. As a christian, I keep hearing that we must evangelize to expand the kingdom of God. I agree; however, I do not agree with the means that churches use. For a start, God did not ask us to go out and shove christianity down people's throats. Take for example the people who stand at MRT stations, bus depots, shopping centres etc asking people to convert...the means used sometimes are confrontational in that they try to push the Bible down strangers throats by asking if they want to be saved. Another example is the fervor that is shown when a non-christian visits a church, the christians clamor on the person and try to force the newcomer to accept Christ. I would like to point out to everyone that evangelism is not about shoving christianity down someone's throat, it is about showing by example the love and behavior that a true christian should exhibit. Going out and "forcing" a person to accept Christ is akin to the crusades and look where that got us! Again, for fundamental christians, take a look at how Jesus spread the faith; Jesus went out and spoken to people, showed love and patience so that people understood his position. Jesus did not shove christianity down people's throats but instead showed them the truth of the religion which is God loves us. Therefore, should we not also follow the same example if we deem ourselves christians? Jesus did not discriminate in his love, even towards non-christians (read story about the Samaritan woman at the well or the prostitute who was about to be stoned in the New Testament), so why should we? Have we forgotten the fundamentals of our own religion in our fervor?

Lastly, what does christianity really stand for? Does attending Church every Sunday without fail, reading the Bible daily, espousing Bible verses word for word, praying religiously etc make a person more christian than the next? Actually, contrary to any belief, the truth is NO. I would like everyone to note that there are many people who deem themselves christians because they put aside a single day (Sunday) to be "holy" because the Bible prescribes it but the rest of the days, they indulge in other pleasures...look into yourselves and answer truthfully if this is you (don't lie, God knows!). In fact, many of us ARE! Why? Because we are human (re-read the Bible if you do not understand). Christianity is in actuality a faith and a belief in God and not a status symbol. Remember that the first apostles did not have a Church to gather in; Jesus did not have a Church to pray in. Moreover, christianity is about one's relationship with God and speaking to God as you would your own Father; it is not about a fixed process but rather a conversation with God so we have a relationship with him. The New Testament and the cruxifixtion of Jesus gave us this ability. Praying is not a formulated process and we should not read the Bible because we have to. We are christians because we have a true relationship with God and believe in the fundamentals of what he stands for which is to Love all.

I have heard many criticize or distant themselves from people who refuse to accept Christ. Such people criticize others as the devil or worse. Please don't fall into this trap. If your friends want to convert, they will accept in their own time (i.e. in God's time and way); you are not the person who will convert anyone but it is through your own example and through your love that you will convince others of your faith. God asks that You be faithful to Him but does not state that if you convert more people, it makes you holier, please remember this! God loves All his Children which means everyone in existence! As christians, please do not go forth and make comments like I cannot be in a relationship with someone who is a non-christian...this is unbecoming because God provided you with this person to love and treasure and not solely to convert as a project. Please get it right, all christians, we LOVE the person and not because of the person's religion...LOVE the person and don't try to make excuses to convert the person (including dragging the person to Church).

In conclusion, we are all Children of God regardless of what faith we belong to...God created us all (or for the freethinkers, something did put us here which is undeniable). Let's stop creating the barriers and learn to understand one another and LOVE one another as was intended. If we all start looking, we may actually realize as christians that all our faiths and religions are linked with similarities. Christians....let's start behaving like true christians (in the vein of Jesus Christ) instead or behaving like warmongers....Jesus LOVED us all despite us crucifying Him, He died for our blindness and sins, why can't we learn to love like he did without barriers? Ponder this....

To be Respectful

I constantly remind myself who I have become and that what I am doing now, I must always be respectful towards others. The everyday incidences that I encountered on the streets, with friends, families, colleagues and people that we meet for the first time, all command the word "Respect".

Everybody needs a little respect. We know when we have respect and when we don’t. But what is respect really?

It is to treat other people the way we want to be treated.

- Be courteous and polite.

- Listen to what other people have to say.

- Don't insult people, or make fun of them, or call them names.

- Don't bully, pick on others or ignore them

- Don't judge people before we get to know them.

- Treat people the same no matter their race, religion, gender, size, age, or country of origin.

Remember respectful people value others and they help other people value themselves. Perhaps the most important factor to understand about respect is that, it is not given automatically by others but that it must be earned.

Although these ideas will help avoid insensitive and unmeant disrespect, however, alot of people don't even respect themselves to begin with, so how could we possibly expect them to respect us. It is important to remove anyone from our life that doesn't treat us the same.

We are allowed to put someone in their place if we don't like how they speak to us. We do not have to smile and laugh at what someone says if we do not want to. We don't have to say yes and agree with someone if we don't agree with them. We can say no if someone asks to do something we don't want to do. We do not have to be around people who make us feel bad. we do not have to bear and grin at anything. Stand up for what we believe in.

Some take people for granted easily and also because they don't know the importance of respect. They want us to be easily manipulated for their selfish needs.

Stand firm in our beliefs and convictions and just be our self and if we feel disrespected, speak up and say... we deserve respect. Or simply kick that person out of our life.

Insensitive

A friend who is overweight told me that he got angry with his good friend for being insensitive. It goes like this: Both of them went shopping and an overweight woman walked past them. When the woman was gone, his good friend burst out laughing and said "oh, she's so fat!" And this friend was thinking, "Hey, I'm fat too, so are you laughing at me?" Till this day, his "good" friend still did not not why they don't go out anymore.

I got this too. Not that people laugh at me that I am fat but that person was insensitive to my nationality. It goes like this: She is going to host a party and she texted her friends using her mobile to remember to RSVP. Few days past and some of her friends did not reply her so she decided to asked them directly. Her friends' answers are like, "still thinking", "not sure whether can make it". She got angry and that day (I happened to be around) and she told her other friends, "(she said the nationality) are so rude, they won't RSVP. Asked them about it and they are still so indecisive. All (she said the nationality again) are this kind of attitude!"

Well, at that time I was the only person that is the nationality that she mentioned. My face went red and I didn't not how to reply. The thing is, I am not one of them, I RSVP ed.

I wanted very much to say, :"Ah.. it depends on what kind of friends you have, right? I don't think my friends will do that to me." But I choose to remain silent.

A lot of the actions or words we exhibit are direct consequences on are how we are raised in - our parents or the general community. If we are taught how to be sensitive towards others' feeling, we grow up practising it.

Spoilt kids

(Picture from cartoonStock)


I find this picture very relevant to today kids. Well, not all are like that. There are a handful who appreciate having anything they can find on the table or in the fridge, as long as it fill their stomach.

A scary growing numbers of today youth are so spoilt at home, they carry this behaviour with them everywhere they go. With parents bowing to every demand at home, such youth thinks they do not have to follow the same rules outside.

They don't want to take responsibility in what they do, messy, disrespectful and often scolded their domestic helper, make a lot of noise in public, rude and ill-mannered, laugh loudly at people in distressed and never offer to help, etc.. (too many to name all, add if u can)

I was asking my friend the other day. "What if your child behave this way?" I said.
She told me, " this is acceptable as long as they don't do drugs or kill anyone."
Right.... That's the problem.

Kids could no longer distinguished what is right and wrong and will become or do things self-centeredly.

Anger Management

Recently, I have friends who got angry at the tinest, little things that happen around them. I don't know, blame it on the overcrowding here, recession, noisy kids, low tolerance among human....

Well, anger is a completely normal. But it can turns destructive and lead to problems that may affect our everyday activities. And it can make us feel as though we're at the mercy of a powerful emotion.

Human as we are, the natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. And I agree that unexpressed anger can create other problems. A certain amount of anger is necessary to our survival. But we just can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us.

Let's face it, we can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that anger you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

People who are easily angered generally have a low tolerance for frustration and would get particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust.

These are the 3 tips that could ease ourselves up:

- Timing: If we always end up quarreling or fighting with our love ones, e.g at night, we could try changing the times when we talk about important matters.

- Avoidance: If walking into a messy house/ room makes us furious every time (this happen to me all the time), shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what anger you. Keep calm.

- Finding alternatives: If our daily commute through traffic, whether in train, bus or car, could leaves us in a state of rage and frustration, map out a different route or avoid that timing.
( I have one friend who left his office 5mins from his usual time and he find his route home less crowded). Well, sometimes traffic is hard to gauge..

Another thing: Getting angry is not going to fix anything and it won't make us feel any better.

The challenge comes

The other day, I blogged on "Pursue what you love'. True enough, the path to be able to do what you want is definitely very challenging.

When we figure out what we love, we seek approval from someone else. The truth is, you will never get final approval from someone else. Even if you get the approval from someone else, their approval will be conditional. Sadly, I have seen people’s dreams rejected by people they thought they could count on for support.

We work at jobs that lead to careers so we can retire, and then, we do what we enjoy. But the reality isn't so. To pursue the work we love, many people decide they must make what they made before. This is not the way to view this.

After encountering the above and you still have not turn your back, what will you expect or do next?

-You have to take action. Do a lot of research, meet and talk to people that are already doing what you want to do.

- Expect loneliness. It’s a lonely road because there are very few people on it.

-The risks and tradeoffs we have to make to pursue our dreams can seem impractical at some stage in our lives. The temptation of simply taking up a job and postpone the next phase of their life for ten years or even forever.

- You feel emptiness. Crisis will hit any person in the course of their life. And they come in different shapes and sizes and it is normal to have one, or even more than one. It can be family, layoff or illnesses. The "pulling through" stage is the hurdle that we have to over come.

A note: The greatest gift you ever give yourself is figuring out what you want and making a plan to pursue it.

If you are on the way to pursue what you love, I’ll be cheering you on as you go.

Squeezing my way out

That does it! I couldn't stand it anymore so i decided to pen it down to cool it off.

This happened in the train almost everyday.

1) People who rush in when the commuters have not stepped out of the train.
2) Pole dancing wannabes. They lean their whole frame onto the pole and no one can grab onto anything in case the train jerks.
3) people in the train either sitting or standing, holding their handphone and pretending to sms, while taking picture of something they see that they don't like, and don't dare to confront, to post in stomp
4)people who clip their nails, dig their nose and flip their hair in your direction.
5)Coughing or sneezing without covering mouth or nose.
6) those who take a long time to get out of the train
7) people who don't shower in the morning and stink up the whole train.
8) play loud music from their handphones/mp3 players or some gadgets to 'share' their fantastic taste in music
9)People who huddle near the door and don't budge when others are trying to get in, then when they get accidentally bumped into and then glare at you.
10) people who put their stuff on the seats next to them.
11) parents who let their kids run around the train.
12) People who cut your queue as you wait near the door when the train is coming to a stop.
13) Those who sit on the floor / talk loudly on the phone and swearing.
14) perpetual stares from 'perverts'

The lists goes on. Add on to the lists if you can.
Tolerance is a must for me.

Narrow Mindedness in Education

I have been reading in the papers recently the complaints that have emanated about the fall in ranking globally for the National University of Singapore and about the rankings given to the other local universities. Of course, the fall in rankings for Singapore's premier university caused a huge stir about how accurate the rating system is. This issue got me thinking seriously about this matter of how status in the Singaporean society affects how we look at ourselves and our prospects in life.

As background, I am educated in 4 different countries and have lived in numerous cities around the world and experiencing life in these countries including working amongst the locals. Mind you, I worked as a local in each of these countries and did not have the luxury of an expat package that shielded me from the challenges that the local population in each country faced. However, my most amusing experience still comes from working in Singapore in terms of how the school that you come from affects your prospects in life.

Let me give you an example. I had a friend who recently met up with a local professor who headed a department about entrance into a program. The professor stated that graduates with a Bachelor degree from either NUS or NTU would be given priority as these were known entities. When my friend expressed that she was graduating from an Australian Group of 8 university, the professor's remark was that she would have to check if the credentials of that university were recognized in Singapore. Surprising remark coming from a supposed academic in a Singapore university.

Another experience I had was with a client who remarked that they would only hire university graduates who had undertaken their degree full time in the university (local or overseas) and not through their overseas campus in Singapore. When asked why this was the case, the client's remark was that the standard of the degree from the university's campus was not as good as if the graduate studied full time in that country - something that I find hilarious should these overseas schools hear about it.

Yet another example pertained to my credentials. I undertook my degrees in recognized universities in the US (albeit they were smaller schools) but when I applied for jobs in Singapore, I was asked all kinds of questions because I did not graduate from an Ivy League school; I was even told that had I graduated from an Ivy League school, they would be interested as these credentials were easy to ascertain.

The combination of the three examples got me thinking about the views in Singapore society with regards to education. In addition, I am utterly surprised that the importance that people place on the school that one comes from. Why do I say this?

Let's look at example one (the one involving the university professor). The remark by a university academic (albeit a Head of a Program) is surprising considering that you deem yourself to be someone familiar with the global academic scene. Even though she was a graduate from the Singaporean education system (NUS graduate), I am sure that she is aware that higher education involves schools other than local Singapore universities. The very fact that she was unfamiliar with the credentials of the Group of 8 Australian universities is shocking as the public service commission had recognized these and other Australian universities for years. In addition, such a professor would be the person who is going to assess if an applicant were eligible to apply for a course of study at the school. Based on this theory and remark, shouldn't this university state in their application that "only graduates of Singapore universities need apply because we are ignorant of the credentials of schools around the world"? If they had stated this, I am sure things would be clear but again, schools here cannot discriminate based on ignorance right? With professors like these, I would ask who needs apply anyway because the eligible pool is limited anayway.

In terms of the second example, again, I am appalled by the ignorance of the client. Singapore's government has time and again emphasized one of their desire to make Singapore a regional education hub. The government has continuously encouraged foreign schools to set up programs here in order to increase opportunities for the population to gain higher education. Noble ideals indeed. However, again, there are people out there who discriminate against others because they undertake distance learning. Bear in mind, these programs set up by the foreign universities are quality programs that undergo similar rigor in terms of assessments and course requirements. With this in mind, I am curious how anyone can justify their statements to say that such programs are below the level (as such should be viewed as 2nd class) of comparable onsite programs? Again, I am surprised by the ignorance.

In my last example regarding the schools I had attended. The same ignorance comes through which I feel trickles from the academics in local universities (i.e. the narrow mindedness). For any readers who have been educated overseas, especially in the US, they would learn that the term Ivy League doesn't mean anything. For the information of anyone who is reading this and is not familiar with the US education system, Ivy League actually refers to the sports conference that the particular group of universities belong to and does not refer to their academic prowess. I would challenge anyone to list out the Ivy League schools apart from Harvard and Yale that comprise the schools (BTW, UCLA and UC Berkeley are not Ivy League schools!). Let me place another example of this...what would be your reaction if I were to tell you I received my degree from Brown University in the US? Would anyone take me seriously? Surprise...surprise...no one would but it is an Ivy League school!

The point that I am making is that just because one has never heard of a schoold does not mean that it is not as good as your own school. We have to be cognizant of the fact that different countries have different education systems and setups. For example, schools in the US have strengths in particular courses of study. For example, MIT is strong in technology studies, Harvard in business and law etc. Lesser known schoold like the University of Missouri is strong in broadcast journalism etc. Again, without this understanding, we may assume that a Graphic Design graduate from Harvard is definitely better than all because of the Harvard name; a flaw that I believe needs to be corrected in Singapore.

The key to a bachelor degree should be to teach the candidates of such degrees to think and create a thought process; the fact that one graduates from a particular school does not necessarily make this person a better employee or candidate than another. As we all know, as we progress through life and learn, it is the experience we gain (both work and life) that define us and not the school we graduated from. Also, what's the use of a degree from the best school in the world when you are ignorant about the world and cannot see beyond your own nose because education is a lifetime process involving learning new things, experiencing new things and innovating things; this is the true value of the education and not what school one comes from.

Lastly, Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein did not receive degrees or get their education from notable schools. Based on my above discussion, should we now discount their theories and contributions in Singapore as we are not sure of their backgrounds? This has now gotten me thinking...

A last thought from the Chancellor of my university when I graduated: "Today is your graduation. As you embark on your journey out of this school thinking you know everything with your degree, you will soon find out how little you know". I was angry with him at the time but this statement is ringing through now as I see the ignorance of many who have refused to grow beyond their university days.

I hope everyone gives some thought to this as I feel it is time for change in Singapore and it begins in the schools with the so-called elite academia....

I'm Probably Facing the Wrong Way

Ever experienced a time in your life when everything seems to be going wrong for you? In fact you may even be going through such a time now.

Everyone has days when everything seems to go wrong. They said that we must recognize that days like this happen and not have an unrealistic idea that all days are going to be perfect, productive, smooth-flowing days. This is the key to not getting totally frustrated. It's also good to step back if we can. Don't just push and get externalized if things aren't working out right. Allow the mind to relax and the subsuperconscious to come through.

If everything seems to go wrong... turn around. We're probably facing the wrong way. This universal experience that everyone have in common. It is the feeling of disappointment and discouragement.

During our darkest hours we basically have only two choices. Choose to believe that our destiny is a matter of time, circumstance or luck and what happens to us is merely the result of some kind of fate. If this situation is correct then all our efforts are essentially worthless and our personal struggles in vain. If this situation is correct, then everyone and every action wind-up to the same conclusion. Another is to choose to believe that the planned path are of right choices and values somewhere come out at the right place. The right road eventually leads to the right destination.

Do ask ourself if there is anything that we are doing, or failing to do, that is causing the hardship or perhaps unnecessarily increasing the hardship.

However, no matter how successful we are, we still suffer hardships and setbacks from time to time in our life. If we are confident that we are on the right track then the best strategy is to increase the amount of goal directed action that we are taking.

When nothing comes your way

They say, "If you don't work and have enthusiasm, nothing comes your way."

However, sometimes even if we out 100% hard work and enthusiasm, it still doesn't come the way we want it to be.

It has been said that when life deals you a lemon, pause for a while and then make lemonade from it. To put it another way, there is an opportunity hiding in every problem that we face.

We all go through down periods, times when it seems that nothing seems to work out for us. Even something that may seem insignificant to others that weighs heavily on our mind.

No matter what it is that has happened, it is important to deal with the situation as soon as possible. The longer that we let the mental baggage weigh us down, the more difficult it will be to shift later.

Let's deal with the issue. Facing up to any situation no matter how tough it may seem at the time, will at least give us the ability to actually gather the facts. Once we know exactly where we are, there will be a very good chance of knowing which direction to go in.

Get busy on activities that we enjoyed before. Get in touch with family and friends.

Watching our diet. Eat healthy foods to keep our energy level high and less chance of succumbing to illness.

Read many self-help books to help us understand our emotions and overcome problem areas in life.

Learn how to best relax ourselves by meditation and breathing exercises to control stress.

Staying active helps. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Work off stress with physical activity, whether it's jogging, tennis, gardening or any leisure. Get enough sleep. However, too much time spent in bed or moping around can however lead to increased levels of depression. Like all things try to maintain a healthy balance.

Every experience we have on this earth can be treated as a learning experience. It is way better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It is better to have tried and failed that to not have tried at all.

You only get out of life what you put into it.

Is he the Bigger Man?

I was shopping down the city area and saw some men dressed in their professional shirt, pants and tie sitting down at the platform googling at some women and making fun on their dressing, their faces, how they walk, etc.

The men aren't in their teenage anymore but they behave like one. Actually this is not the first time I encountered men over here behaving this way.

There was one time, I walked past a group of men and one of them started whistling and said loudly, "Hi xiao jie, can I get to know you?"

I keep ignoring him and then he said, "you think you very pretty meh?" And with that he and his friends starting laughing.

What is wrong with the men nowadays, behaving so ungentlemanly and childishly?

I read in a magazine the 17 small acts that prove a bigger man:

1. Return that wallet- With all the dough. Witnessing the owner's delight is worth more than money.
2. Abstain- If the Starbucks line snakes out the door, thou shalt not wip, frap, steam, cream, or half-caf. When time's of essence, take it like a man: straight up.
3. Wave- your entire hand, not just your middle finger. Thousands die each year in aggressive driving-related accidents.
4. Stop at second base on a first date- You're definitely on your way, because she's begun to trust you. This restraint almost guarantees fireworks next time - when she'll be gagging to go all the way.
5. Laugh- at that humorless 'joke' your father trots out at every reunion dinner.
6. Donate your platelets- Whose life have you saved today?
7. File that complaint- The day we're too tired to fight even the bureaucrats break out the tattoo needles and bar codes.
8. Put in writing- Its too easy to dismiss a casually uttered 'thanks' or 'sorry'. If you really mean it, commit it to paper.
9. Hold your tongue- every man possesses a simple superpower: Silence. Too few exercise it on a regular basis.
10. Dance- Especially if you can resist a man who puts her pleasure ahead of her ego.
11. Don't laugh- when the guys make fun of the new IT bloke with the ill-fitting shirts. standing up for your beliefs doesn't always require a lecture. see number 9, 'Hold your tongue'.
12. Cash in your chips- In a perfect world, the dealer would continue to bust and that luscious lass at the bar is crisscrossing her legs for your benefit. But Lady Luck is a fickle mistress. Take the coinage and run.
13. Donate to charity- Anonymously.
14. Order a salad in a steak house- So what if your buddies are biting down on mattress-sized porterhouses and tauting you midchew? Your payoff comes at the beach; theirs vanish with a belch.
15. Wear blinders- When the attractive waitress with the heaving chest and the microscopic tanktop bends over. So what if she wouldn't notice or mind: You gain more power by exercising restraint when sin comes in the form of 40D cleavage. To wit..
16. Forgo- As in 'Thanks, but I think I'll pass,' to that foreign karaoke hostess who's trying to help you part that extra $100.
17. Conceal your connections- At first at least. Sure, mentioning your father's golf Sundays with the MP might land you the job, but saving it until you're on board earns you respect.
    

Show this to the men.

They can be a Barrier to doing your job

Recently, my friend told me that his company could not fill up positions fast enough and that the candidates are not suitable even though the company is using headhunters. I thought, "this is the best time to find good, qualifying candidates. So what is happening?"

Sometimes the Human Resources department already had the candidate's resume buried in its files. HR departments are so busy that they lose good candidates without realizing it. While a hiring manager may be interested in the candidate, an HR might have put a big X on the application. This is the risk companies take when they let someone other than hiring managers sort through resumes. HR doesn't necessarily have the depth of knowledge that a department manager does.

A good headhunter can help navigate the muck and mire of the candidate review process in most companies. A good headhunter has direct access to the hiring manager and is more motivated than the HR department to make a connection, because he earns a fee. They may be able to both speed up the process and get the candidate in front of the manager in advance of candidates that are brought in by the HR office.

Mistakes that a HR makes:
1. They don't recruit. Because of the volume of "resume flow", they don't identify and pursue the people they want. Instead, they take what comes along.

2. They rely too much on ads. The best candidates are lost to headhunters and to employers who leverage personal connections to attract them.

3. They know too much about HR and too little about their industry. The typical recruiter spends more time reading HR journals than trade and professional publications that are read by the people they want to recruit.

5. They don't know how to 'update' or 'sell' the managers of a good candidate. HR should stay close to the department they are recruiting for. That's how they can daily influence the hiring manager's of recruiting activities.

6. They waste candidates' time. Good candidates don't have time for applications, tests and screening interviews before they talk with the hiring manager.

7. They waste headhunters' time. Engaging with too many headhunters to 'fight' for one position and not disclosing whether candidates' are suitable for the role. Which result in more resumes being sent over that are not relevant and having headhunters having bad impression of the HR or company.

And the old saying goes, "If you don't know how you are doing, you can't fix anything."

Party Behave

Many people no longer know how to behave at a party. It's always better to be more formal whenever you're in doubt.

If going for the office party, do arrive no later than 10 minutes after the start time. If you don’t have gifts for everyone, don’t give any out. Presents for select colleagues should be given to them in private. Also, introduce yourself to the company big 'shots'. If they look like they’re busy, just tell them you enjoy working there and move on. And please try to stick to soda. Everyone only remembers the guy who danced on the tables.

If at a friend’s party. RSVP – even if it’s only a casual event. The host needs to know how many people they’re feeding. You can show up anytime between 5 minutes after the party starts, and 30 minutes before the invitation says it’ll end. And don’t bring flowers as a gift. They might not go with the decorations, but your friend will still feel obligated to set them out.

If its the Festive bash. Arrive no later than an hour after the start time. Bring a gift. They’ll have plenty of champagne, so opt for a morning after basket of teas and coffee Also, the best way to show your appreciation for being invited is to get into the spirit of the party. Not sure when to leave? Look for these signs: The music is turned down, the lights are turned up and the food is no longer being replenished.

Always say goodbye to everyone before you leave, including your host.

Not to teach homosexuality in school? Then when?

I ventured to write this as so many parents have express concern over teaching sex education and homosexuality in school. Parents feel that it is inappropriate to even discuss homosexuality for less than 2 minutes during the sex education programmes in school.

I disagreed and see that it is necessary to cover sensitive issue as students this day are finding out things from sources like internet about their own sexuality. Students being taught in school about sexuality and homosexuality won't grow up having misconceptions about either.

When people are born a certain way through no choice of their own -- such as race, or looks, or handicaps -- should they be penalized by society?

Schools need to prepare students for their adult life and beyond. Teaching sex education involves three very "hot" topics: human sexuality itself, the behavior of sexual minorities, and youth sexuality.

Schools in Singapore are in a lose-lose situation. They will be attacked by both groups. One group will be the social and religious conservative students, parents, and organizations. The other groupwill be therapists, social workers, human sexuality researchers, human rights organizations, liberal students, liberal parents, gays, bisexuals, and lesbians.

It is the responsibility for parents to guide their children. While it is based on our view points, our beliefs and how we were taught; it is the core of who we are and what we believe children should be. Parents owe it to their children to be as knowledgeable and open minded themselves. Guiding them means allowing them to form their own ideas, own understanding and providing them with a foundation to make their own decisions. Giving them the ability of strong cognitive reasoning provides them a structure in which they will continue to grow into productive, contributing members of society as it evolves from generation to generation.

Today, students are exposed to many issues and homosexuality is just one them. They are challenged everyday with understanding drug use or abuse, sexual promiscuity, pregnancy, marriage, divorce, puberty, alcohol use or abuse, issues on religion, race, politics with the current war, and death; to name a few. Put that on top of academics, friendships, sports and learning basic personal hygiene and it can be quite stressful these days.

Homosexuality is not the root of pedophilia, it is not condemned. It is a difference that, like other human differences, should be accepted. Homosexuality is not evil, and it is not simply a lifestyle choice, but it is often uncomfortable for people who realize they are homosexual in a largely heterosexual and sometimes homophobic society. Society's response to homosexuality should be, not condemnation or marginalization, but acceptance.

However, school still have to run sex education. And what should be shown in the programme is critical cos' that will be the messages that will be send out to the youngters who may interpret it wrongly.

Whose Fault Is It for Rising Auto Insurance in Singapore Anyway?

I have recently been very troubled with the justifications given by the auto insurance providers in Singapore in support of their need to increase insurance premiums in Singapore. However, sad to say, few people have questioned these companies on the issue of whether they are truthful in their justifications. The reality then is that we, as the consumers and within a captive market, are left to foot the bill with regards to the rising cost.

In Singapore, there are generally not as many choices for insurance as in many of the countries that I have lived in. Generally, there are 3 big players with several smaller peripheral players. However, the bulk of the cars are insured by one of these 3 auto insurance companies. Recently though, there have been a spate of discourse by the auto insurance companies rallying for an increase in auto insurance premiums with some having increased premiums by 20% already. The justification: Rising cost of auto insurance claims in the past few years with more having been paid out to claimants resulting in a loss for their business.

I am rather puzzled by this claim from the auto insurance companies because of several factors.

1. Auto insurance premiums are based on risk factoring before they are released to the public. Such companies employ teams of actuaries and underwriters who study what the risk factors are from a statistical view point before determining the premium. What this means is that (from a layman's perspective) the auto insurance providers have already considered the probability that a claim would be made against you before they quote you a price. Insurance premiums are determined on this risk basis and not on some arbitrary number plucked from the air. This, then leads me to wonder if we are paying for losses in other portfolios as auto insurance makes up the largest portfolio and largest captive market.
2. The average speed of travel for a vehicle is about 50-60km/h in Singapore with highway speeds averaging only about 90-110km/h. The majority of Singapore roads are urban streets with a minority of highways. Even at rush hour, the speeds can drop to 40-60km/h on crowded highways and this is usually the time that an accident occurs due to the bumper to bumper traffic.

The above 2 factors got me thinking about the justifications by the auto insurance companies that they were paying more in claims for injuries and property damage. Let me explain why.

The first reason why I am curious about the justifications is that auto insurance companies employ actuaries and underwriters to determine the risk factoring for premiums. These people are suppossedly specialists who are able to determine what the risks involved are for a profile of drivers before determining what the premium is. Again, the emphasis is on the word SPECIALISTs. This group of people look at, on a day to day basis, and calculate what the probability of you and I are to make a claim. With this in mind, does it now mean that the teams of actuaries are not doing their job or are incompetent at their work because they were not able to factor the risk properly? This argument somewhat does not make sense because the data is reviewed yearly and assessed yearly. Based on this then, would it mean that the claims had spiked in a short period of time and therebyresulting in a need to increase premiums? Again, I am puzzled.

Alternatively, the auto insurance providers can also claim that they had not increased premiums in spite of rising claims for several years in order to remain competitive in the market. Wait a minute, again, this argument confuses me. The reason is that all companies are in the market to make a profit and the decisions are based on commercial decisions. Therefore, no company would undertake a commercial transaction (regardless of how lucrative) if it were not profitable or made business sense for the company. This takes into consideration, as well, what the market forces are. It would be ludicrous to think that auto insurance companies would continue for so many years if they were losing money all along. If we were to follow this logic, it would mean that the commercial acumen within many of these major companies were minimal. The result of this argument would lead me to think that maybe we are making up for losses in other portfolios.

The second reason relates to the kinds of injury claims. With most of the accidents occuring at rather low speeds, how then can property and injury claims be rising? My use of the term "low speed" is actually taken from the auto insurance providers' north american counterparts who used to claim that minimal injuries will occur in collisions below 50km/h (I know because I had been a litigation lawyer in North American with experience in dealing with numerous claims as both a plaintiff and defence lawyer). With this in mind and the speed of traffic in Singapore, how then can there be rising injury claims? The only claims then would be property and this would lead me us back to my previous section, i.e., hasn't the cost of repairing the car been factored into the premium by the teams of actuaries employed by the auto insurance companies? The argument then that maybe there are more luxury cars in Singapore contributes to the rising claims as it cost more to repair a continental import than an Asian import. Again, I would refer all to my discussion on the acutuaries and risk factoring.

Ahh...then you say, there have actually been rising claims from injuries and property damage. OK then, let's take a look. Some of the auto insurance companies had actually put the blame on the lawyers for such increases saying that lawyers had contributed by inflating claims. Good argument but I would beg to differ. Claims are first and foremost submitted through to adjusters at the insurance companies. These adjusters then determine the quantum and the true probability of the injury resulting from the accident; they scrutinize loads of documents from property assessments to doctor's medical reports. After which, they determine what the value of the claim is and submits to the auto insurer. Does this sequence seem familiar (like the relationship between the actuaries and the company)? The insurer then determines if they want to pay the claim; if they view the claim as fraudulent and believe they have a good legal argument, only then does litigation begin. Singapore courts though, unlike US courts, are not as liberal in awarding million dollar awards for damages. With this in mind then, is the insurer trying to tell us again that someone they hired (i.e. the adjuster) is not doing their job?

The arguments put forth to date are reminiscent of the arguments put forth after the September 11 incident in the US where the insurance companies lost money after paying the claims for the terrorist attacks. In order to recoup losses, they put forth the argument that accident claims were rising and so they had to increase premiums. This increase affected people throughout North America including in Canada. However, in all their arguments, no insurance company was willing to open their books to the public for us to scrutinize their numbers despite numerous calls from watchdog associations and lawyers; the word from the insurers then was that it was confidential. With the current economic situation, it leads me to wonder if the insurers are facing the same problem because of losses made in their investment portfolios as we are all aware that insurance premiums are reinvested to generate income for the insurers? As such, are we making up for a loss somewhere and auto insurance is the easiest to target?

I am truly baffled by these events. However, the driving population in Singapore has not come forth to question these practices by the auto insurers but have instead accepted such increases. I believe that it would be interesting if we could ask these insurers to open up their books and be transparent to us, the consumers, with regards to whether actual claims are on the increase or that we are making up for losses in other areas (as we know, the insurance industry has been hit by the recession). I know that my voice alone cannot change much but I feel that I should share with all what my thoughts are on the issue of rising insurance premiums because I am also a driver. Maybe we, as drivers, are paying for the greed and mistakes of comapnies who do not even know who we are. Rising insurance premiums has got me thinking....

Pursue what you love

To do something well you have to like it. But it's difficult just to tell people that and definitely tough for people to understand. Doing what you love is complicated.

After school graduation, the prospect of an actual job was on the horizon. By the time we reach an age to think about what we like to do, most of us would have been thoroughly misled about the idea of loving one's work.

What we should not do, I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond our friends. We shouldn't worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world. This is easy advice to give but it's hard to follow, especially when we're young. Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you'd like to like. what I mean is, if you do anything well enough, you can make it prestigious.

The other factor leading people astray is money. Money by itself is not dangerous. The danger is when money is combined with prestige. A well paid job is tempting to someone young, who hasn't thought much about what they really like.

I was in these cab the other day and these cheery cab driver told me I was his first customer. Later he told me that he had just left an airline industry after working there for 40 years! He goes on to say that he had endured the good and the bad times while working there. And he said something that I will always remember. "Don't be greedy". Just this three simple words which has a deeper meaning to life that people always forget.

Whether people love what they do is whether they'd do it even if they weren't paid for it—even if they had to work at another job to make a living.

Of course "not everyone can do work they love" are too true, however. One has to make a living, and it's hard to get paid for doing work you love. As everyone thinks they want financial security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but those who like what they do.

Someone working in an IT industry which manufactures luxury gadgets told me, "I don't like what am doing, selling 'toys' to rich people.. I wanted to go into the pharmaceutical companies doing things where I know I am helping people regardless of their status." He smiled.

Whichever path we choose, expect a struggle. Finding work we love is never easy. Even if you succeed, it's rare to be free to work on what you want till your thirties or forties. If you know you can love your work, you're more likely to arrive at your destination.

If you want to stay happy, you have to do something.

The Economy

Asia is beginning to see the effects of a sluggish economy and the effects of a contracting financial market. The beginnings of the economic crisis began with the American banks and the US economy exhibiting signs of trouble. This was followed by the effects trickling to the European markets. However, Asia had been quite well sheltered from the effects until now. This, though, is not to say that the effects were not felt earlier but it was probably related to the media in Asia which can sometimes be less liberal than western media in order to prevent panic within the Asian community. In spite of the best efforts to put a good twist to the situation, the effects right now in Asia is very real and this is not merely in the financial industry.

As we flip the papers daily, in countries like Singapore, Malaysia and China (3 relatively robust economies that have encountered good growth results in the past years), we are beginning to see the effects of the sluggish global economy. The effects in Singapore, for example, were not really felt until the beginning of this year. In addition, in December 2008, the biggest layoff of employess were from a local bank and this seemed isolated as an incident. During the holiday season in December 2008 though, many were still not believing how rampant the problem would become. For example, I looked around me during that season and still saw widespread buying of big ticket items, luxury items and bookings for holidays. However, how things have changed in a short period.

Today, as I walk through usually crowded traditional shopping areas, I am beginning to see a reduction of shoppers as well as read of shops having problems as consumers have dwindled. In addition, as we flip the papers daily, we hear of layoffs now from the manufacturing industry with companies trying to monitor costs and make ends meet as a result of the reduction in consumption; cranes at the ports are also up in their resting positions instead of down unloading ships due to the reduced exports coming through. The effects are trickling through all industries as a result of the contraction.

Why am I writing the above? The reason is not to look at it as doom and gloom as many analysts have viewed it but rather, to offer a different analysis on the problem. I realize as I read many of the analysts, they seem to be using the traditional "year on year" analysis; even companies use such an analysis to see how they are doing compared to the previous year. This method of analysis is relevant if there were no problems in the economy and we are not in severe contraction. The result of this method of analysis though results in a flawed result. Let me explain why below.

Let's take a quick look at a "year on year" (yoy) analysis. This method of analysis bases the baseline number on the previous year's results. Analysts look at the results and draw a percentage change from the previous year at the same time. This is the basis of the yoy analysis and this is where I feel a problem can occur. The problem now is that we are in a recession which basically means that the economy is shrinking and all numbers WILL ultimately go down. Compared with the previous year, we would definitely see a significant drop so what else is new. As such, we see many analysts reporting doom and gloom in their forecasts but the reality of this is how is knowing that the economy is shrinking and the company/country's figures are down; we all know this issue already and how does this help us plan our way out of the problem. Overall, we know the problem and we are looking for a solution. As many have said, this is a major economic crisis and unconventional times call for unconventional solutions.

From a layman's perspective (I am no economist but merely a business owner), I would like to put forth a new outlook to all. The first thing that I am suggesting is to change the basis of what we are using to compare our performance. I, for one, am looking at perhaps what was the root cause of this crisis, i.e. why are we in this situation. I am looking at perhaps the US economy and credit crunch as the main cause as the banks over there were the first to experience problems which in turn, resulted in other global banks experiencing problems. Due to this, I have begun looking towards them as a base for looking at things. For example, the housing market doubled in value between 1994 to 2002 and beyond (until recently). Many homeowners were elated by the new found "wealth" in their properties. I shall explain why I put "wealth" in inverted commas in a bit. Another factor, home mortgage interest rates droped from 8% p.a. to 3-4% p.a.

Now, is the picture becoming clearer regarding why I put "wealth" in inverted commas? Let me explain. The "waelth" experienced by many was merely a paper gain as opposed to real wealth. Many of us understand that Economics 101 does not regard a mere paper gain as creation of wealth; wealth equates to liquidity and actual cash being created i.e. a true expansion of the economy. The result of dropping interest rates merely changed the demand and supply curve without creating real wealth. Take a close look at the following. If I had a home that was purchased at $86,000 but was revalued at $150,000 when interest rates halfed, did I really make a gain or was the gain the result of inflationary factors? I would suggest that the gain was not really there no wealth was created because the drop in interest rate merely means people were not able to borrow more with no increase in the actual size of the economy; we merely moved the numbers by the same factor that interest rates had dropped. However, many were unaware of this factor and they went out to borrow against their new found "wealth"; banks as well fell into the trap of their greed and lent on paper gains. The result of this exercise, collapse of an economy that was unable to support the growth as there was no wealth created to begin with; the wealth was all only on paper.

With the above analysis in mind, let me make a few suggestions for analysts and companies even though I am no economist.

1. Stop looking merely at yoy analysis as your basis for planning and forecasting. The answer is very simple regardless of what numbers you want to throw in; your company/country's performance will contract and show a drop and this is a given. In addition, telling everyone that the performance is down 20% from last year doesn't help you set a solution or strategy because you were in a boom time the previous year that was built on artificial wealth (paper gains). To ask your employees or population to achieve the previous year's figures just do not make sense because next year the numbers may show a mere gain of say 5% and the same analysts would say we are recovering because there is growth (if we are down this year and it is the basis, any increase next year would show a gain which is flawed logic).
2. Start thinking through the actual problem itself. People are tired of all the doom and gloom analysis as well as news of how bad the economy is. What people are looking for is a solution because any person off the street can now give you the same doom and gloom forecast without needing an economics background!
3. Think out of the box and stop pretending that you have a solution. In such unconventional times, unconventional solutions are required. As I showed in the above, pick a different basis for your analysis. For example, use figures from the mid 1990s as your baseline before the artificial wealth were created as this may be the true size of the global economy even up to now; there has been no real wealth created in the last 10 years and using that baseline may be a better indicator. By using this basis as your indication, companies may be better equiped to devise a recovery plan because you are looking at true wealth (i.e. money available) rather than artificially created wealth.

Many readers may discount what I have said above but I truly do believe that we have all erred in our analysis. I have merely offered the above as a suggestion and by no means put forth that my analysis is correct (as I am not an economist). I am merely putting forth the above as a way to look at the current issue because I, for one, am becoming tired of the doom and gloom news but I am looking at creating a solution; I manage a company and I am going to look for a solution to save my company instead of merely regurgitating the negative because anyone can join the masses is telling what the problem is but few will take the time to look for a solution. I am going to look for the solution instead of contributing to the problem; I hope all of you will join me.