Working and Passion

A friend told me that he has a 3 years plan to consider his current job - whether by the end of his 3rd year, he should remain or quit his job.

I thought to myself, "why need a 3 years plan to consider whether this job suit you a not. If you want to do it, do it well. If not, don't do." To me, a 3 years plan is for individual goal in life for perseverance and growth. To consider whether to remain or leave the job, you will not commit fully and of cos' you will not enjoy what you do at work.

When is the last time we pause and say to someone, 'Here lived xxx who did his job well.'

Do we love our job? Do we even like it? Do you look forward to Monday morning? If you are always looking forward to weekends person you are missing something really important in your work life - passion. Unfortunately, many people don't enjoy their work. What's worse is that they have no expectation that they should. Work is often seen as the means to an end. You work so you can pay your bills.

Being passionate it's looking forward to going to work and it's time flying by when you're there. It is very different from being swamped with work or were so intent that you didn't notice the time.

Feeling passionate about your job is not enough, you have to act passionate too - to be really passionate. Your energy can lift all of the people at work. Even if it doesn't, you will feel better knowing you are doing something to advance in what you believe.

Its not necessary that we need the 'environment' or the boss’ attitude to drive us or put us down. A person passionate at job can be consistent in his job by his own drive. Even in bad situation, he continues to work with the same vigor or more.

Sharpen our skills consistently and being adept at our job can help us greatly.

Find something you love to do and you never have to work a day in your life. Remember, work is to discover your world and with all your heart in it.

Forgivness and letting Go

Being able to forgive is already so difficult, so how to be able to let go?

Forgiving and letting go of past hurts is a critical for any relationship. Being able to forgive is a way to keep yourself both emotionally and physically healthy.

Holding on to old hurts, disappointments, petty annoyances, betrayals, insensitivity, and anger, are bound to waste both your time and your energy. Eventually, it can even lead to hatred and extreme bitterness.

How to Forgive:

- Make a decision to forgive your spouse. When hurt flashes in your mind, do something to distract yourself from dwelling on those thoughts.
- Don't throw an error or mistake back in your spouse's face at a later date.
- Don't seek revenge. It will only extend the pain.
- Accept that you may never know the reason for the transgression.

Be patient and never try to hurry the process.

Asking for Forgiveness:

- Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you have caused.
- Be willing to make a commitment not to hurt your partner again.
- Accept and face the consequences of the action that created the hurt.
- Be patient with your partner as being able to forgive often takes time.

Everyone makes mistakes. Knowing when enough is enough. Only you will now.

What do Men Want

My friend urged me to write this after an indept discussion with her and I thought, oh well, I should. Certain things we do not agreed cos' I think that's what women want as well.

Women are offen unsure about what a man is really looking for.

• A man like to love and they like being loved in return. They claim that it is not easy to find a loving woman and how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right.
• Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Well, men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much. Although, they aren't ooking for a model-type, but men do want a woman who look after their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good.
• Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. (provided we, women found a faithful man) A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for trust.
• Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life.
• Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind. Although, they claim that they did not need mothering, though some do, it is that men seek women that would make a great mother to future offspring.
• Men want women with a great sense of humor, that she is able to fit in with their humor and is sociable and fun to be with. Such women are extremely attractive to many men.
• Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. They see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.
• Men want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss, and not shout when angry. ( well, men shout all the time than us)
• Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secure territory. When a man is challenged, it make them sit upright. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.
• Men want a woman who will commit to them. (Though increasingly this is hard to find) Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with.
• Men don't want to be alone.
  

Men don't necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away, but it will come. They do seek respect from their partner. (Women expect that from men too)

Writing this actually make me uncomfortable. A committed partner is hard to come by.

Standard Chartered Run on 7th Dec 2008

I am going to run the Standard Chartered Singapore Run - 10KM this Sunday. The organisers are expecting a total number of 48,000 runners in 2008, and one-third of the participants will be running the full marathon.I have the information ready for the participants and myself just in case....

Date: Sunday, 7 December 2008
Start Point: Esplanade Drive, The Esplanade Bridge
End Point: St Andrew’s Road, The Padang

Race Divisions

Individual Categories
Start Time
5.30 am - Marathon (42.195km)
6.30 am - Half Marathon (21.1km)
7.30 am - 10km - Men
8.15 am - 10km - Women
8.45 am - Wheelchair Race (10km)

Kids Dash (750m)
10.30am - Between 10 - 13 Years Old
10.45 am - Between 7 - 9 Years Old
11.00 am - Between 4 - 6 Years Old*
11.30 am - 3 Years Old And Below*

Team Categories
Start Time
7.30 am - Team - Men
8.15 am - Team - Women
7.30 am - Team - Mixed - Men
8.15 am - - Women
(At least 1 member of the opposite sex)

I'm going to ready my sunblock!!!

The Beauty of Jade Bangle

I don't know what got into me but recently I am so into Jade that I bought myself a Jade bangle.

Well, the Chinese states that, "Gold has value; jade is beyond value."

Jade is a non-conductor, so it feels cool to the touch. This coolness is said to elevate and purify one's thoughts, quiet the mind, and help to induce a state of contemplation.

Wearing jade was thought not only to confer greater health and vitality, but also to ward off back luck and misfortune. It was said that the better the quality of the stone, the stronger it's energy will be.

Some women wear their Jade bangles 24/7. I believe one of the reasons people do not take it off is because the size of the bangle is small. Some who wear jade bangle need to use oil to put it on or take it off. The reasons for wearing small jade bangle is to prevent it get into your way and slip off from your wrist. And they claim that it is good for blood circulation.

If you really want to wear a Jade bangle, do consider wearing it on your non-dominant hand. I didn't like my bangle clunking against my watch, so I now wear my watch on my right wrist.The easiest way to find your jade bangle size is to decide which wrist you will wear your bangle. See illustration below. This shows the points on your knuckle you should measure between. Measure the distance between the points.

Buying the right size of jade bangle is extremely important. If its too small or too tight, you will feel uncomfortable and hinder your blood circulation. When it is too big, the jade bangle may come off if you move your hand too widely.

The best way is to physically put on the jade bangle.

A relaxing Cruise - For short getaway

I like the sea, so we decided to be on a short weekends cruise to unwind.
If you are looking for 1st class service at the Star Virgo Cruise, forget it. It all about relaxing and away from the stressful city. The weather was good, its windy and you can eat all you want, club till you drop and gamble anytime you like.






And did I mention, Ken's boss on the ship too.. a coincidence.. maybe also trying to get out of the city.
Haha!

The Zoo

Was at the Zoo the other day and managed to take photos of these beautiful creatures.


I'm Sunbathing



Hey! Pretty girl look at me



So hot...



Hmph!



Whatcha staring at!!



Do you think all of us are in the pictures?

The office Backstabber

Unless you work on a deserted island, dealing with people is a fact of life. Backstabbing is one of the biggest and common issues in the workplace. Never overlook the damage Backstabbers can do. Do not ignore their behavior. If you do, it just reinforces their control and their negative behavior. They won’t change, because this Backstabber behavior has worked for them in the past.

One thing to keep in mind, backstabbers is very low people in the society. Yes, being backstabbed is very painful.

So how to identify them. A backstabber is usually a very close friend, yet this friend is actually an enemy. Such an enemy is much harder to identify, never mind to overcome.

Identifying backstabbers:
1. See how they treated others: other friends, people of lower social status, their family members, people they don't like.

2. See what happens when people do a serious mistake to them.

3. See, when people of "no use to them" ask for help, do they help the those people? If they do bad to those people, they might be a potential backstabbers.

If they often talk bad about someone to you, beware. They might as well talk about your bad sides to other people.

How to deal with them:
- If you know of someone who is doing things to jeopardize your livelihood, try to get all the facts you can so that you can eventually dispute any wrong information. Never get emotional. You need to stay calm and logical. Your boss will look much more favorably to a cool, well-collected individual who is able to present the facts without bringing any personal issues to the table.

- Especially if the backstabber is circulating rumors and gathering people against you, you should try to get some people on your side as well. Let them know exactly what is happening and try to gain some sympathy. These friends will can not only help in giving you some moral comfort, but possibly also help to dispel rumors or false information about you.

- Try to be on good terms with your immediate supervisor, manager, and those higher up as well. It's a lot harder for a backstabber to kill you off when you have friends in high places.

- It's also possible to confront the backstabber, but be careful about this as it could further ignite the situation. You could politely ask about certain facts, but do not get personal.

Stay cool

Being successful is subjective

My mum used to say to us (that's my brother, sister and I) that we must study hard so that next time we will become successful.

Now that I'm older, I thought to myself, so what is the meaning of "being successful"?

I have went to parties and networking events, only to realise that everyone is talking about materialistic stuffs - what they own, what kind of watches they wear, been to which expensive restaurants, etc. Yawn.. its actually very boring. But if you stay humble and say you don't own that kind of expensive watches, they would give you a disgusting look.

Goodness! What happen to the so-call-art-of communication workshops that we signed up, hopefully that we could engage in a proper communication.

All too often we equate a successful life with material possessions. Yet, there are millions of people out there who lead successful, fulfilled lives who may be of modest means. They may not be rich in the financial sense, but they are rich in life and values.

Being successful is very subjective to different people. Somebody could be a great Doctor that work for a certain hospital, some could be a Doctor that set up their own business. So which is "being successful"? Working for someone else or setting up your own business?

Or rather, is it how many expensive things you own or expensive trips you went to is "being successful"? Or is it that you rather give that money to somebody in need?

Success comes about depends upon our relationships with others. Success is know-how, reputation and a network of contacts. If one day you have no money but if you can keep your smarts, business relationships and reputation, you get it all back.

Having knowledge, social capital and trust is the ultimate security blanket. People who become "successful" and miss a successful life are those who love things and use people. Be sure to put people as a priority in your life.

Stay true, be humble, never forget where you come from and never forget your roots.

Questions to ask about the DBS Layoff

Mr Lim, the secretary-general of the National Trades Union Congress (NTUC) had mentioned whether there are alternatives for DBS and The Union to explore reducing costs and save jobs - from a flexible wage system to flexible work arrangements.

However, DBS has defended its decision, saying that cuts affected 3.5 per cent of junior ranks, compared to 16 per cent of senior management.

DBS had also said that a hiring freeze had been in place before the bank decided to retrench 900 staff.

The bank also said it had considered cutting wages, but decided against it due to different labour laws in countries where the bank has branches in.

DBS mentioned there is duplication or redundancy of departments and so they have to layoff staffs.
So does it means that DBS only started to realized these after so long? And that they decided to lay off these people in bad time, during the festive and school holiday period?

Reporters and the media should dare to ask questions like: “Could the lay-offs have been avoided? What other measures did the group look at before deciding to take the present drastic action?, Or were they more concerned in increasing the bottomline and maintaining profit margins than in protecting jobs?, And who are the ones that are going to be laid off at DBS? Are they going to be the so-called non-performers, the underperformers, or those that led DBS into its unfortunate encounter with the Lehman Brothers Mini-Bonds and the DBS High Notes 2 and 5?

Yes, some cutbacks in staff by companies cannot be avoided. But why is streamlining done only during a downturn? Why can’t companies here run a tight ship even in good times, so that the chances of resorting to lay-offs and retrenchment are slimmer?

Too many companies have gone on a hiring binge in good times.

Blogging and preventing layoffs

During past downturns, layoffs were mostly a private affair. Big companies uses “downsizing,” and start-ups do it without telling the world anything at all.

Not anymore. In the age of transparency, layoff will be blogged.
Some bloggers had no choice other than to blog layoffs at the closely watched company — even though some employees had not yet been told they were losing their jobs.

They do these to prevent media reporters from writing articles that were not accurate and companies feel pressure to break bad news so that they can better control the message.

Today, whatever you say inside of a company will end up on a blog. So you have a choice as a company — you can either be proactive or you can have someone else to write the story for you.

To prevent destructive layoffs in companies:

- Making the tough decisions not to hire in the first place or replace less productive positions. Make the tough decisions now rather than later. It just gets more complicated with time.

- Sometimes it's better to have a position vacant than to hire poorly... especially in management. One bad manager can take down tens to thousands with them.

- Keep to continuous improvement. Productivity is the intermediate measure and if it's not always going up, you are becoming less competitive.

- Manage your financial, time, people, space, knowledge, energy, and material resources well. Look at Cost, Effective, thinking and organizing.

- Use both the pessimistic and optimistic views of the economy to shape your business decisions. Listen to people out there and test against reality and the predictions.

- Partnerships and joint ventures can allow you to leverage your core resources and push the variability to others or reduce it.

- Have everyone in the company on the team. Give everyone some level of influence over and responsibility for profits.

- Make decisions for the greater good of the corporation rather than betterment of top management.

- Those pessimists you are tempted to quash have something important to say. Listen but then take positive action on that negative view.

- Have a contingency plan to review if something bad happens than to have to invent something in the heat of a crisis.

- Manage your inventory as anticipating a slowdown can mediate the impact.

- Just because you announce a cutback, doesn’t mean there is unlikely to be a long-term positive impact on stock price.

- Invest in new processes and technologies.

- Expansion is fun, but excitement can hides the pitfalls of rapid growth. Capital can dries up in the middle of a growth spurt and build revenues based on contribution margin and profitability, not the top line.

- Be a team player and failure to look out for others has taken many entrepreneurs and managers down along with their employees.

- If a business unit isn't achieving its goals, it is unlikely to get better if you just shuffle the staff around. Fix fundamental problems and start with the top people.

- If you have to make layoffs, communicate and get everyone involved. Have a clear and fair policy on and take care of both the people being laid off and the survivors.

If you have run your company well to this point, people would understand that you have done everything you could to avoid this outcome.

Remember: “We always carry a responsibility for the people who work for us.”

Harder time fitting into jeans but I'm happy

It's not a good idea to be either underweight or overweight. Eating too much can make you overweight, which can lead to ill health, such as heart disease, high blood pressure or diabetes. Not eating as much food as your body needs could also affect your health.

Since I started running and taking part in 10KM race, my thighs have become more toned. However, my jeans seem to get tighter too. The health expert said that there is nothing wrong with it. Jeans will get tighter as muscle is solid and fats can easily be squeeze into those jeans because it flattens out. Anyway, that does not worry me cos’ I get the excuses to wear more beautiful skirts!

The human body needs energy to survive, so we be able to do our work and for us to breathe, think and move. This energy is measured in "calories". Any of the food categories - namely protein, carbohydrate or fat, can be converted in the body into energy in the form of calories. Naturally, one has eaten less than the body desires if you feels hunger and excess eating is when one puts on weight.

As long as I’m healthy, I do not starve, I eat the right food and exercise, I believe that’s the reason why I’m happier this days.

- EAT NORMALLY: Make a note of everything you eat or drink over the period of a week get to know exactly how much you eat.

- REDUCE FOOD INTAKE IF NECCESSARY: Make a conscious effort to reduce your food intake. Try to eat as little fried and sugary stuff as possible. You may find yourself getting hungry and irritable between meals. This intensity of hunger will gradually reduce as your body copes with the decreased food intake.

- START EXERCISE: Any exercise, as much or as little as you can tolerate and keep it up.

- DON'T BE IN A HURRY: Do not try to lose weight quickly: Go slowly and stick to your aim.

- MODIFY YOUR WARDROBE: When you do lose weight - quickly get a set of tighter clothes or alter your clothes to fit you. Properly fitting clothes get tight and makes you uncomfortable if you eat too much or start regaining weight.

But remember: Diabetics who are on anti-diabetic medication may feel weak or hungry when their blood sugar is getting low, and need to be under supervision of a qualified person.

Do good looks get the job?

As much as we'd like to think otherwise, human beings exhibit a preference for those who are attractive. Beautiful people are perceived to be more sociable, are happier and more successful. And we have sort of been guilty of judging people based on look.
There are bound to have some bias in hiring job candidates. While we're not surprised to learn that some customer-facing professions (sales, entertainment, airlines) reflect the employer's desire to hire those whose attractiveness may impact the bottom line, however, candidate's physical attractiveness may influence the employment process even for positions that are not considered high-exposure.

Let me share with you my experience that happened few years ago. I went for a job interview at a bank for a particular position. This position was introduced to me by a friend working in that bank. I went ahead and after that, I did not hear any news from the hiring person. I called the bank and they told me they have hired someone for the job. Few days later, my friend working in that bank called me up and told me why I was not selected for that role. She found out from that department that why the person was hired, was because she was better looking than me. So that’s it.

Now, I prefer not to believe this and blame it on my lack of ability to do the job. Boy, I was really sad.

In the face of such pervasive bias toward beauty, it's important to educate employees and customers on diversity and acceptance. When it comes to hiring practices, it's essential to teach hiring managers how to overcome the beauty bias.

- When it comes to interview process in place, one that reflects an appreciation for the different levels of appraisal that are involved in any job interview. Managers should overcome tendency to trust gut instinct and to prompt the kind of questions that can provide solid information about the past performance of a candidate.

- In addition to the hiring manager, involve another level of management in the hiring process. This small team of interviewers can help build a team that's both diverse and cohesive in the process.

- Specify explicit job requirements. That makes it much easier for the hiring manager to refer to the specifics throughout the interview - and to stay away from the more personal aspects. This will help achieve workforce alignment, driving productivity and attracting people who create the most value for their organization.

- Use of assessment tools for a good "fit" for the job and for the corporate culture. This will be based on the most objective measurement of a candidate's abilities.

While we know we never totally get rid of the tendency to judge people on appearance, we can change behavior in ways that matter.

Being Manager - your choice or not

When you are struggling with a deadline or dealing with delicate decisions, the last thing you want to deal with is "people". When the fight is really on and the battle is undecided, you want your team to act co-operatively, quickly, rationally. But this is what happens, and as a manager you have to deal with it. Some are totally beyond your control; but you do have influence over many factors which affect your staffs and so it is your responsibility to ensure that your influence is a positive one.

As the leader of a team, you have the authority to sanction, encourage or restrict most aspects of their working day, and this places you in a position of power and responsibility.

Consider your behaviour. Consider the effect you would have if every morning if you walked over to Alex's desk and told him what he was doing wrong. Of course you would never be so destructive - provided you thought about it. Simple habits can have a huge impact upon your rapport with your team.

Take another example: suppose you are a 'busy manager' type you respond brusquely to questions and interruptions; guess what will happen?

Probably your team will leave you alone. They will not raise problems, they will not question your instructions, they will struggle on bravely, feeling unsupported. Your simple behaviour may result in errors, mis-directed activity and frustration. So if you do want to hear about problems, tell the team so and react positively when you hear of problems.

Motivation. When thinking about motivation it is important to take the long-term view. What you need is a sustainable approach to maintain enthusiasm and commitment from your team.

To motivate, look at: achievement, recognition, the work itself, responsibility, and advancement. These are what your team needs; loads-of-money is nice but not nearly as good as being valued and trusted.

Achievement. As the manager, you set the targets. This, will have a dramatic effect upon your team's sense of achievement. If you make them too hard, the team will feel failure; if too easy, the team feels little.

Recognition. is about feeling appreciated. It is knowing that what you do is seen and noted, and preferably by the whole team as well as by you, the manager. If people do something well and then feel it is ignored, why would they bother to do it well next time.

The work itself should be interesting and challenging. But few managers have only interesting, challenging work to distribute: there is always the boring and mundane to be done. Therefore, this is a management problem for you to solve. You must actually consider how interesting are the tasks you assign and how to deal with the boring ones.

Responsibility is the most lasting. Assigning responsibility is a difficult judgement since if the person is not confident and capable enough, you will be held responsible for the resulting failure.

Advancement. The long-term issues of promotion, salary rises, job prospects; and the short-term issues of increased responsibility, the acquisition of new skills, broader experience. Your team members will be looking for the former, you have to provide the latter and convince them that these are necessary steps for advancement they seek. They must feel that they are learning everyday.

People-problems. There are bound to be problems - as a manager, you have to solve or at least contain them. Some problems should be ignore at your peril. Problems such as: "Alex is just lazy". Such people can poison the working environment, however, these descriptions could also be totally unhelpful.

As a manager, you must provide the solution. It is best to work on one problem at a time because this simplifies the analysis. Remember, by addressing one, other related problems are often affected also.

Finally, look carefully at how you behave and whether the current situation is due to your inattention to the human factor: you might be the problem, and the solution.

Immaturity at the workplace

We cannot assume that all people are functioning at the same level behaviorally and emotionally in the workplace. It is not surprising when we encounter a co-worker who responses to what we thought was a simple comment with an emotional outburst that resembles that of an eight-year-old.

How to identify them:
1. Inability to compromise with the rules of the workplace and with co-workers. Any group of people who spend time together must be able to compromise at times and to realise that not everyone can have their way at every turn of the day.

2. Self-defensiveness and excuse making when confronted with a reality at work. They do this, so that it can easily be divert one from the original issues.

3. Avoidance of responsibility for work or interactions with other workers.

4. Misuse or response to authority, which leads to resentments. It often results from a false sense of entitlement. “I am also one of the managers and I do not have to respect you.”

5. A tendency to revert to quarreling rather than communication toward conflict resolution.

6. Complacency toward making efforts toward quality work. It is different from being lazy. Complacency is more the lack of caring about the outcome of a project.

7. Try to make others responsible for their own emotions. It is always someone else’s fault that the emotionally immature worker is having a difficulty at work.

Well, the good news is that any one can mature emotionally at any age. The bad news is the workplace is not the best place to help a person grow up emotionally. Especially in the area of interpersonal relationships, this action can be very disruptive.

A manager can put into place ways to hold their staff accountable in the workplace by having it done in a mature way. Do this with a quiet, consistent, response that calls for the staff member to look at their own behaviour and never react at the same level of immaturity as the staff member.

Being Different at Work

I want to stand out from my colleagues at work and I mean, career development. It is about constantly improving myself and getting the most out of my job and work life. The toughest is figuring out how to stand out in a good way by being aware of the consequences of what I think, say, and do.

People have confidence in us if we have confidence in ourselves, the success of self-confidence. We gain confidence as our skill and knowledge grows. We must not be afraid to try new things, when immediate success isn't as likely as when we do things we've already mastered. It is easier to overcome small mistakes, and small wins keep us motivated and to keep us moving forward.

Performance feedback - Get our chance to talk to our manager about where we are, where we want to be, and how we might get there, in our job and in our career. Your attitude about receiving positive and negative feedback will help determine the outcome and to reach our goal.

Most of us have to do something to earn a living, but few of us do not have a choice about what we do. If you're in a job where you have no energy or enthusiasm in the morning, watch the clock all day, pray for the weekend all week, and long for vacations all year, we're spending about your life in the wrong place. We have to be where we want to be or to have a clear plan for getting there.

Doesn't it feel great to get through the day without challenging ourselves to learn something new or do something great? No? You're right. Work hard to be the best you can be at work and home. You might be surprised how your attitude changes when you seek out challenges and fully commit to what you do.

Listen to our own conversations and notice how often you say the word I: 'I think,' 'I want,' 'I wish,' etc. We tend to think in terms of I, which is okay until it gets in the way of thinking about and relating to others. Open yourself to new ideas, innovations, changes, and different points of view. Don't go through life thinking 'I' is all there is.

Don't use inappropriate language. The language hurt people working around us. Swearing is nearly always offensive to somebody, and it's a bad habit to get into at work.

You can complain, but offer solutions. You can argue, but do it as reasonable and respectful dialogue. Organizations need people to challenge the status quo, and they need people to disagree; otherwise, nothing changes or gets better.

It can add spice to the workday to, to gossip, to talk about people who aren't around. Don't do it, don't encourage it, and avoid listening to it. It occurs so often, you will really stand out and earn the respect of your manager and coworkers if you don't do it.

Our private lives don't have to be private. Tell your coworkers about your family, your neighbors, your work in the community, etc. Avoid, however, going into great detail or length about personal problems from outside work.

Don't talk about sex, politics, or religion. We know these subjects are taboo at social gatherings; they are at work as well. Few things will spur a conflict, or at least, leave a negative impression of us with others.

Always be professional and mature, and watch our appearance. Be professional by meeting commitments and respecting our responsibilities to others and ourself. Have fun at work, and at the same time, let people know we can handle difficult situations with a level head.

In a rapidly changing work environment, people who stand still are actually moving backward. Show initiative and create our own opportunities. Read widely, observe, listen, use a mentor, volunteer and speak up. Look at life and work with the eyes of a learner and improver.

The person sitting beside you right now might be a CEO some day. Some relationships you form early in your career will last throughout it. Take care of the relationships we value or the ones we need to get things done. Build networks that help us and our career.

Make mistakes so that we grow and improve when we try new things and venture out of our comfort zone. However, don't make big mistakes that are hard to recover from, but create development plans that allow for small mistakes that we can learn from.

I heard this all the time: 'That's not my job.' 'I don't want to do that.' 'You don't pay me enough.' Managers have a demanding job that requires them to juggle many different tasks and tackle whatever comes along. So let's put in extra effort when needed.

We should have to "Think, say, and do the right things every day" attitude, and we will stand out at work and toward our career goals.

My New Balance REAL run - 19th Oct 08

I have not been activitely running since my last race. Its only left less than 1 week to the race day. Thinking about it, make me nervous already. So I decided to take out notes that I have filed on race preparation. Hope it is not too late..

• Mentally (is really very important).Think positively.


• A new running shirt and short stimulates you to do your very best.


• Stimulate yourself by thinking that you are in a great shape. This extra race tension ensures that of the hormone adrenaline there more is released, as a result of which you simply will run harder.


• Care that your running stuff is ready, so that gives no problems.


• We use no doping. However, you can use a placebo. It cost the necessary imagination to make a fool of you but it works.


• Carbohydrate-loading. This method we uses at the preparation of races, where the carbohydrate stock (or glycogen stock) in your muscles and liver is mainly consumed. In other words races longer than an hour. For the marathon it is certainly recommend. The intention is by means of correct training and with ate measures to increase this stock. A day or four for the race you do fast endurance training. The same day (and possibly the day before) you try to eat carbohydrate poor (see further). After the fast endurance training your carbohydrates have been consumed. If you take to the race much carbohydrate rich (see further) and little albumen and fat food, the body reacts by storing extra many carbohydrates in the muscles. Drink also more, because glycogen holds fought. Much success!


• Carbohydrate rich food: pasta, potatoes, fruit (bananas!), fruit juices, bread, sugar, sweets, carbohydrate supplements and gingerbread. Carbohydrate poor food: cheese, notes, quark, ice cream, flesh.


• Carbohydrates (such as sport spirits) that during the effort are taken can an important supplement form on the restricted carbohydrate stocks in the body.


• Strive after a feasible time.


• The aerobic energy supplies need some time (about 2 to 3 minutes) to do there work good. To save the carbohydrate stock run for this reason the first minutes of a race not too hard.


• Moisture loss: is disadvantageous for the achievement capacity. Drink regularly. The body can process approximately one liter per hour. At a high surroundings temperature, high humidity degree and bad ventilation the moisture loss are higher.


• A high quality of fat in the blood slows down the use of carbohydrates as an energy source. The hours for a race use therefore absolute none fat foodstuffs.


• The most people reach their physical top around 11 hours in the morning and around 6 hours in the afternoon.


• Running on head of a group, against the wind in can cost 10% more energy than in the group.


• Uses a half-hour for the race a strong cup black coffee: caffeine stimulates the fat burning in rather strong degree.


• A nose strip (such a plaster on your nose) does breathe you more easily.

And now I got to start preparing... Best of luck to me!

How Singapore is coping

Singapore's export-dependent economy may narrowly escape a recession in the third quarter, but the deepening financial crisis should prompt the central bank to ease monetary policy to avoid a sharper economic slowdown.

A recession is usually defined as two consecutive quarters of economic contractions. The global market meltdown has so far pushed New Zealand into a recession, and Japan is teetering on the brink of one.

Economists polled expect Singapore's central bank, the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS), to loosen monetary policy by letting the local dollar appreciate at a slower pace.
The central bank sets policy by managing the Singapore dollar in a secret trade-weighted band against a basket of currencies, instead of setting interest rates.

The Singapore dollar fell to a one-year low against the US dollar as the global credit crisis deepened, raising concern economic growth will slow, Bloomberg news reported on Wednesday.

The currency fell for a sixth day, the longest stretch since Aug 12, on speculation investors will avoid emerging-market assets. The benchmark stock index slid to the lowest in more than three years.

Singapore's dollar is likely to weaken further.

The Singapore dollar fell to $1.4708 against the US dollar at 1.40pm in the city from $1.4647 late in Asia yesterday. It reached $1.4724, the weakest since Oct 10, 2007.

The Monetary Authority of Singapore will slow the pace of the local dollar's appreciation at its biannual foreign-exchange policy meeting on Oct 10, according to seven of 14 strategists surveyed by Bloomberg News.

The nightmare on Wall Street reached Singapore on Wednesday, with The Straits Times Index nosediving a sharp 6.6 per cent. But it seems not many Singaporeans are too concerned.

Many said that they do not have investments in the stock market.

Most of those who expressed indifference felt that what was happening would not really affect them, at least not in the short term.

A weaker job market, lower pay and bonuses were other worries voiced.

(Extracted from Straitstimes)

Dealing with my Anger

Recently, I've seen myself getting angry over things that I don't think it is necessary at all.

The other day, I was playing badminton at a community centre and there was this family who came 10 minutes earlier to their schedule time and they are going to take over the same court that we are using. I wanted to play till the last min before we call it a day. But their standing around and staring at us playing badminton, irritated me and it affected how I played. And suddenly, this mother sneezed loudly into my face when I'm trying to retrieve the shuttercock that I missed to hit. What make me angry is the fact that she never bothered to apologise or say excuse me. Time just left 5 minutes, but their stares make me very difficult to carry on playing. When we started to step out of the court, they went right in to play without asking us whether we are still using it.

At that moment, I said loudly: 'If you wanna sneeze, cover your mouth because its very rude'. She stared at me with that emotionless face, and then I said to my partner: 'they never even asked whether we are done with our game.' I knew that they heard what I said and I continued: 'It's very distracting of them!' With that, we left the place feeling angry and we somehow did not enjoy the game at all.

I have always been in control managing my anger but I totally lose it that day. When I thought back about the incident, I realised it is just a small matter. And now I have to deal with my anger before it got worse.

My Angry Thoughts:

Anger exists in the mind and is a direct result of your thoughts. An event does not make you angry, but your interpretation of the event and how you think and feel can lead to anger. Certain things can be done to make the feelings of anger more controllable and manageable.

1- Admit you are angry. Recognizing that you are angry is the first step in dealing with it. Some people find it difficult to admit they are angry perhaps because they view their feelings as inappropriate or not valid. These people may deny their feelings therefore choosing not to deal with them.

2- Identify the source of the anger. Realizing what is causing you to feel angry is important in dealing with the real problem. Often the real problem can be confused with other issues or other emotions.

3 - Ask yourself why you are feeling angry? Recognizing the reason for your feelings of anger is an important step in dealing with the anger. After analyzing the reasons, you will decide in your mind if the anger is reasonable or justifiable. If you decide the anger is unrealistic you can diffuse the feelings. If you decide the anger is realistic, you can better decide how to deal with your feelings.

Now I need to control my anger:

There are techniques which can help you control your thoughts and in turn control your anger.

- Get rid of intense, angry feelings by letting your imagination diffuse some of the feelings. Allow yourself to imagine strangling the person who has made you feel angry, without actually carrying out the action. Imagery is a safer way for you to vent angry feelings.

- Do not allow the thoughts that are making you angry to continue. Shut down those thoughts by switching your concentration to something you find pleasant and enjoyable.

- People often get angry when their expectations are not met. Modifying your expectations can help you cope with anger. If you can afford more flexibility there is less chance for a situation to lead to anger.

- Being aware of why a person behaves a certain way or why a person is saying something will help promote understanding. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes and viewing a situation from their perspective.

Overall, my health will be affected:

- blood pressure increases
- breathing and heart rate become more rapid
- muscles become tense

Anger which lasts a long time can physically damage the body. Anger is a form of energy which must be released and it is best to follow steps which help release it constructively. If anger is controlled, it can be wisely used to communicate and negotiate a resolution.

Beer is good!!

Let's talk about Beer:

A beer after playing a game of football, a long run, or a strenuous round of golf can be good for the body, scientists say.

In a rare piece of good news for those who like a pint, Spanish researchers say beer can help someone who is dehydrated retain liquid better than water. Prof Manuel Garzon, of Granada University, also claimed the bubbles in beer help to quench the thirst and that its carbohydrate content can help to replace lost calories.

I sure like these piece of news!

I heard if you go for this Singapore Beer Festival, you will get to experience the Chimay Grand Reserve - that is considered by many to be the equivalent of a Chateau Petrus wine in the world of beer. That is to say, even beers have Grand Reserves.

There are also the New Zealand's Harry's Brew and Peru's Cristal, which looks remarkably like the champagne in terms of clarity and colour.

Fortunately, beer experts prefer not to swirl and mouth-swish that pretentious wine drinkers seem so passionate about. Real beer drinker look for balance in the flavour and quality of beer.

Scott Kerkmans, the CEO of beer - of the Four Points hotels by the Sheraton Group, said that best beer is one served cold and in good company. " The perfect brew is one that is part of a great memory, an excellent drink that accompanies a spectacular moment".

( Sometimes, when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed - then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver'.) - From the book Deep Thought by Jack Hande

Multi-taking is bad

In this fast, hectic and stressful society that we are in, we learn to multi-task - which is bad. We're doing our jobs, plus the jobs of one or two gone-but-not-replaced colleagues and doing it all with less support.

How to stay sane when we're insanely busy? We become very good at multitasking. However, multitasking may not be efficient.

“Speed is the modern, natural high,” says psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, MD, director of the Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Health in Sudbury, Mass. But he insists that true multitasking is a myth. We may feel we’re doing two -- or more -- things at once, but it’s an illusion. Instead, we’re quickly switching our focus back and forth.

That’s because the cerebral cortex can pay attention to only one thing at a time, says Hallowell. “What people really do is shift their attention from one task to the next in rapid succession. That reduces the quality of the work on any one task, because you’re ignoring it for milliseconds at a time.”

In this multitasking world of mobile phone chatting, fast-food-eating during any given rush hour reflects the fact that despite ever-speedier technology designed to provide more "free" time, we never seem to have enough of it.

Some say the need for speed, with lengthy to-do lists, hectic day planners and consistent clock-checking, has become a national obsession.

Four strategies for managing your crazy-busy life:

• Mix and match. Pair high-cortical involvement tasks -- those that involve judgment -- with routine, physical tasks that the cerebellum, the brain’s autopilot, can handle. For example, talk to your mom on the phone while folding laundry.
  
• Rest your case. If your hectic schedule demands you rise at the crack of dawn, steal an hour from the TV at night. A sleepy brain can’t focus.
  
• Wean from screens. Resist email, the Internet, texting -- anything that’s not essential to the work you’re doing right now.
  
• Ban boredom. Try to do what you love and what matters most. Organize your life around this principle, and you won’t be tempted away from the task at hand.

But if we do need to multi-task:

• One size does not fit all. Handles almost every incoming email in real time; checks email just twice a day. When it comes to multitasking, no single solution works for everyone. Pick the tactic that's best for you.
  
• Paper piles only grow. When you get a paper report or memo, deal with it, then file it or hand it off. Piles of paper make for more work.
  
• Heading to a meeting? Go unplugged. When you meet with someone, you're using a nonrenewable resource: your time. Don't let cell-phone or pager interruptions waste it.
  
• The next killer business app? Instant messaging. IM is faster than email and just as inclusive. Its beauty lies in its simplicity.
  
• Delegate: It's the ultimate time-saver. Investing in frequent communications with your staff -- lunch meetings, daily emails -- yields big dividends. Your staff members can't lighten your load if they're out of the loop.


• Working in hard-to-reach territories? Voice-mail it, rather than sending SMS. Voice mail is more dependable than email and SMS.

I think it's up to the individual. If we have to deliberately choose to do less, even though the expectations are to do more. We need to do more of the things that matter most.

When he lied

My boyfriend of nearly 2 years has been contacting his ex-girlfriend on regular basis during our relationship. He has told me in the past he had sent her text messages saying he miss her. He lied to me in the past when I asked him if he had talked or meet up with her. Now I am carrying this pain around that I did not create. I am trying really hard to forgive him but it keeps coming up in my mind that he lied and has made me feel like a fool, sometimes I feel so badly that I can't be near him. I want to get past this but I need to hear from him why this happened and why I should believe that it won't happen again? He has apologised and reassurance me that he will not do it anymore but I know that he still contact her. I just want him to tell me the truth even if it hurts, at least I'll know and I can make my decision. He has denied it when I asked him about it and I see it through his eyes - he lied again.

So your boyfriend "thinks" he's over his ex-girlfriend yet you're not quite convinced, especially with the accumulating evidence that you keep finding. It starts with the random pictures hidden in the computer and even some of her clothes hidden in the back of his drawer. It's one thing to keep memorabilia stashed away in a box up in your closet and under your bed. It's another thing to have it lying around your apartment where it's visible for your current girlfriend to see. To make matters worse, he is still contacting "the ex". What’s even weirder is that all he does is talk about how much he hates talking to her. It doesn’t make sense.

It’s easy to pull the "we're just good friends" card. Surely, there's still a spark that burns between them but they broke up for a good reason.

So why is she still hanging around like yesterday's garbage? Bitter. Maybe. On the one hand, it is smugly letting you know that they have a history together. Meanwhile, there he is in the middle, getting his ego massaged on both sides. I would argue understandably that his behavior might be some cause for concern. Who wouldn’t feel slightly awkward if their significant other talked to their ex regularly? Most guys cut friendships with their exes down to a casual acquaintance or to none at all. They may catch up from time to time and keep in touch.

They do not, however, spend most of their time away from their girlfriend with their ex. In his situation he dumped her because it wasn't working out between them. For all we know it could have been due to an excruciating long distance relationship, bad living situations, etc. It's not because he stopped loving her.

Let's face it. Women have enough insecurities of their own without having to compete with the ex girlfriend. No one wants to seem like the jealous, possessive type. Though some of us can hide it better than others. It's difficult to be the mature girlfriend and pretend that everything is peachy keen when your boyfriend wants to keep in touch with his ex. Remember, though they may appear close, she is his ex-girlfriend for a reason. Something went wrong. Yes, she has everything you don't except for one thing, the man in question.

I would say it is normal for people to have feelings for more than one person at a time. And people often have feelings for an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend (ex-husband/wife). Even after breaking-up - people share memories, jokes, intimacy, and they often enjoy talking to each other. On the other hand, most people feel threatened or jealous when romantic partners still have feelings for or a strong connection to their ex.

The trick is learning how to deal with these feelings without making things worse. Typically, people react to jealousy in ways that cause more problems - they ask a lot of questions, try to control their partner's behavior, try to make their partners feel bad and punish them for the contact they have had. All of these things create distance within a relationship and lead to more deception. Ironically, people often make their worse nightmare come true: Partners may start to feel even more close to their ex - because they can talk to their ex without getting in trouble.

Like most relationship problems, the best way to handle jealousy is to express how you are feeling without trying to control a partner's behavior or make him or her feel bad. This is difficult to do, but if done right it can lead to greater intimacy, understanding, and trust.

Leadership - Seeing things from the big picture

I see this all the time at work - employees lacking of decision-making tendencies. That is why we have the leader and the followers.

That is, in leadership, is to have the courage to make the tough, unpopular, legal, moral and ethical decisions in our job.

A leader when faced with difficult, life-altering decisions, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. No matter what the outcome, one thing has remained constant: The decision is ours, and we alone was responsible for the consequences, good and bad.

A successful leader should have the ability to see things from a broader perspective and a kind of acceptance that everything does not always go as planned.

In today’s world, it is particularly important for leaders to be involved in all matters. Skill and information is no longer enough; nowadays we have to be able to endure the constant unpredictability of several things. The tolerance for change and ability to work efficiently in constant change is definitely a characteristic of a good leader.

Leaders must be able to constantly prioritize and decide which actions will not be taken at all.

We must be able to see both the details and the big picture at the same time. We should focus on the big picture and we should also keep in mind that people’s work is in the details. We should be able to see the details so that we can appreciate, for example, the work of our subordinates. We have to be able to simultaneously see the future and the here and now.

However to add on, we can’t just live with the future in mind, but nor can we just live in the moment. We simultaneously have to develop, place boundaries on some action, increase one thing and maybe decrease something else. Issues rarely present themselves in such a way that we decide to make one choice over another.

A flexible leader will succeed better if he or she remains unfazed that a day or even an entire year turns out differently than what was originally planned. And this, leads to trust in one’s subordinates.

In order to be able to detect signals and be on top of the latest developments, a leader might not have the possibility to do things with the same intensity as before. Delegating is about trust and sends a strong message that the leader has faith in the skills of his or her staff.

Environment plays an important part as well. It is not enough for the leader’s mindset to be flexible. The whole organization has to be flexible, too. Flexibility, however, does not mean having no direction. We can have direction even while things are changing.

And a willingness to accept mistakes in this culture of flexibility. There must be continuous opportunities for development and to gain strength to develop competence and own keys to success.

A leader is rarely an expert in one particular field anymore. Nowadays it’s about being a leadership expert. Leadership is expert knowledge and skills can be transferred from one sector to another.

We must always be willing to learn new things, to develop and to think with an open mind and to accept that no one is right or wrong. Good conversations allow seeing the perspectives of different sides.

It is important to allow valuable discussion in order to come up with ideas. As they say, general education is an attitude. It includes understanding the complexities of life and the ability to humbly approach different situations without being above any situation.

Interest and curiosity for life make a person grow.

F1 in Singapore 2008 - MediaCorp TV's Channel 5 offer live telecast

On September 26 - 28, Singapore will be the host and also be Asia's first F1 street race to the 15th of the 18-leg race calendar. It will be set the first ever night race Singapore’s street circuit of public roads in Marina Bay.

(Picture from http://sg.88db.com/sg)

(Picture from http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/)

The night event means it can be broadcast at a convenient time for European TV audiences. The track will be illuminated by projectors to match the shape of the course.
Singapore Telecommunications (SingTel) will sponsor the event and the official name of the event will be F1 SingTel Singapore Grand Prix.
There will be around 110,000 tickets made available for the country's first Formula One race.

Program on that day:

Friday 26th September, 2008.
13.00: Gates open for all ticket holders
14.00: Formula One Paddock Club™, Sky and Club Suite Opens
15.00 – 15.25: Formula BMW Pacific Practice Session
15.50 – 16.20: Aston Martin Asia Cup Practice Session
16.40 – 17.25: Porsche Carrera Cup Asia Practice Session
17.50 – 18.15: Formula BMW Pacific Qualifying Session
19.00 – 20.30: Formula One First Practice Session
21.30 – 23.00: Formula One Second Practice Session
Midnight: Formula One Paddock Club™ , Sky and Club Suite Closes

Saturday 27th September, 2008.
13.00: Gates open
14.00: Formula One Paddock Club™, Sky and Club Suite Opens
15.00 – 15.30: Charity Challenge (Fiat 500)
15.50 – 16.20: Aston Martin Asia Cup Qualifying Session
16.50 – 17.15: Formula BMW Pacific Race One (10 Laps)
17.45 – 18.15: Porsche Carrera Cup Asia Qualifying Session
19.00 – 20.00: Formula One Third Practice Session
20.30 - 21.00: Charity Challenge (Fiat 500)
22.00 – 23.00: Formula One Qualifying Session
Midnight: Formula One Paddock Club™, Sky and Club Suite Closes

Sunday 28th September, 2008.
13.00: Gates open for all ticket holders
14.00: Formula One Paddock Club™, Sky and Club Suite Opens
15.30 – 16.00: Aston Martin Asia Cup Race (10 Laps)
16.30 – 17.00: Formula BMW Pacific Race Two (10 Laps)
17.30 – 18.05: Porsche Carrera Cup Asia Race (12 Laps)
18.30: Formula One Drivers Parade
18.45 – 19.15: Starting Grid presentation
19.46: Singapore National Anthem
20.00: 2008 Formula 1™ SingTel Singapore Grand Prix (61 Laps)
Midnight: Formula One Paddock Club™ , Sky and Club Suite Closes

(Sources from http://www.singaporegp.sg)

The Cheating Heart

My friend was saying to me the other day, "If my boyfriend cheated on me, I would kick him real hard. Cos' that is a big betrayal, which I don't think I could forgive him."

I think all women have said that before but the reality is that if he has cheated on you alright, you are upset, hurt and feel betrayed but you still love him despite yourself. So what happened to you and how come you haven’t kicked him real hard yet? Maybe you did, but how come you are going back and forth about “forgiving” him? How come you still love him just as much as before he cheated?

The first questions most women ask after discovering that their men have cheated. Why did you do this? Who is she? How many times? Where was I? Did you talk about me?. On the surface level it seems that the main and most hurtful thing is the lying and secrecy. But on a deeper down level the questions a person who has been cheated on will like to know: “Wasn’t I good enough?” Am I really that disposable? Did I really not mean that much to you at all? Is she prettier, sexier or better than me?

When somebody cheats on you, they not only hurt your feelings and emotions, they actually “take away” something from you. It’s not just a betrayal of your trust/relationship but a betrayal of how you see yourself as a woman and as a person.

Actually the more details he gives the more inadequate, unworthy and confused you feel. You think maybe if I was this or that he’d not have gone outside of the relationship.

Cheating is a personal choice he makes knowing full well what the risks and consequences are. The choice to cheat came from somewhere inside of him.

But you still love him. Where does that leave you? You’re the one who has the big decision to make. Do you stay with him or do you kick him out? Do you forgive him or do you make him pay?

What you decide to do should be your choice. Just as he made a conscious choice to cheat, it’s your choice to stay or leave. Others may give their advice but the choice ought to come from you.

Cheating is so much more and it affects us much more deeply.

If you genuinely love someone, your genuine feelings of love don’t just disappear. When you open yourself to truly love someone, it’s not just them you are in love with. You are also in love with the aspects of yourself that they mirror back to you. When that mirror is shattered or broken you can not see yourself clearly anymore.

If you decide to forgive him and stay in the relationship without taking time to mend your heart, you are simply looking at yourself in that broken mirror. You find that you mistrust your own intuition and you continue to doubt your own self-worth.

If you decide to leave and find yourself someone else without taking time to mend you broken heart, often times you will not trust what you see in your new man.

Once you’ve done with mending your broken heart, you may decide that you want to make the relationship work. That is - a clear and whole sense of yourself. You may also decide you can't live with him but you don't ever have to stop loving him.

The attracting of true love - and a new loving man.

Teenage and their use of Foul Language

Few days ago, I came across 2 groups of teenagers (on separate occasions), one group was at a shopping mall and the other group was at a park. So what's wrong with them? Their voices were loud and the excessive, shocking use of foul/ vulgar language. They were not scolding anyone, they are just engaging in their normal conversations. But it do catch the attention of passer-by, if that is their intention..

Language is a gaining new ground for teenage. Where conversations with swear words are all the rage, especially in schools, pubs, discos, movies and all those places teens frequent. It’s maybe labelled as the most ‘hip’ fashion statement followed by teenagers today. While most elders are absolutely disgusted with this, teenagers, on the other hand, think it’s simply cool.

Why is it happening?

SWEAR TO FIT ‘IN’? Often, teenagers resort to foul/ vulgar language to seek attention. It is also done because they find it difficult asserting themselves, and also that they cannot tackle issues tactfully.

Therefore, aggression overpowers their senses and they resort to foul/vulgar language out of frustration or bottled up stress. Most teenagers today are in rebellious mode and very keen on experimenting with something new — it could also be the reason behind them falling prey to this new fad.

They want to ‘fit in.

However, teenagers who used foul/vulgar language, did not do it intentionally to hurt anyone. It was done without any bad feeling. It was basically a very done thing in school. Everyone thought it was cool and so they followed them blindly.

All that peer pressure and influence are definitely the main reasons behind this. Mostly their age is between 15 and 18. After that a person tends to get a little more conscious of the language he/ she is using. Of course, sometimes this kind of behaviour carries on for a longer period of time.

How can one control and prevent teenagers from using foul/ abusive language?
- Start from home. Use good language at home, and be clear about how you feel about inappropriate language
- Set rules at home that the teenager is required to observe in school as well. They must avoid the use of vulgar language at any cost. A firm stare or sharp reminder should be enough
- Teach a new vocabulary, substitute harmless words (eg. 'shit’ with ‘shiv’).
- Learn how to react. Giving them the satisfaction of doing that will only encourage them.
- It always helps, if in a group with their friends, sit them down and ask them why they use this language and let them come up with solutions. They will feel they have support to pitch in their point of view.

For teens:
- Make an effort not to use abusive language even while joking around.
- Follow your mind, and avoid getting influenced. You are your best judge.
- In case you blurt out foul language in frustration, make it a point to apologize.

Keep Roving Eyes under control

I was amused after reading this article on "keeping those roving eyes under control".

"As hard as it is for most women to understand, men are wired to notice other women even if they think their wife is the prettiest girl in the room.
Some doctors blame a biochemical reaction in the brain. Many men will tell you it's just a habit.
The reality is men are visual beings and attractive women trigger a powerful emotional response. It is not a sign of emotional or physical unfaithfulness.
But guys, don't think that lets us off the hook!
You and I still have a responsibility to keep our emotions in check and roving eyes under control.
Simple glances can easily turn into a habit of staring, and it can also lead to lust.
On our wedding day we made a commitment to only have eyes for one women, and that's a promise we should keep. " - quoted by Dr Bill Maier.

I said women do look, too but perhaps women are just more discreet oglers. Or men are less inclined to notice our visual infidelity. Perhaps this has to do with males’ perception of being more attractive than they really are. Contrarily, women are more likely to underestimate their physical attractiveness than men.

And can actually avoid a lot of fights by not oogling every woman within eyesight. Yes, men are visual creatures; but you can glance without being so obvious. Of course, men really don’t only have eyes for her, but at least behaving will be much appreciated as women are very sensitive about their looks.

Rightly or wrongly, society judges us much more than men based upon our attractiveness. When men are constantly staring down other women, no matter how secure your girl may be, it bothers her deep inside. When your lust is stirred for another woman, especially a flesh and blood one in the real world, this is perceived by your girl as a threat to the relationship.

Also, because women often compete with each other based upon on their looks, you’re subtly signaling to the other woman that your girl is a loser. Are these the signals you’re intending to send? Do you enjoy fighting with your significant other about women you don’t even know and in fact, were simply admiring?

Ladies, that behavior can be changed by your man if, you are honest with him about your feelings and, he cares enough to change. If it persists, it will only manifest over time. You deserve better.

The boat ride at Singapore River

Used to sit in that boat in my younger days.. Took it again recently but it has become an expensive ride

This was taken about 4-5pm. The boat is for tourists to 'sightsee' but we took it as well. Hmm.. nice.

Saw these figures on the wall. You thought its real if you see it at night.

Medical Error

I wrote this because a friend's grandmother passed away suddenly in a hospital many years ago and the family members suspected that it was due to medical staffs' error. Accidents like this is still happening.

Thousands of people die each year from medical errors, according to a report. When a mistake is made today, the result is that those close to the error know of the mistake, but the event is kept secret.

Left hidden, common medical mistakes — such as administering a drug incorrectly — are rarely identified quickly and studied for ways to make the health care system safer.

Today, hospitals must now tell patients and their families when they have been hurt by a medical error. Medical errors happen when something that was planned as a part of medical care doesn't work out, or when the wrong plan was used in the first place. Medical errors can occur anywhere in the health care system.

Most errors result from problems created by today's complex health care system. But errors also happen when doctors and their patients have problems communicating. For example, doctors often do not do enough to help their patients make informed decisions. Uninvolved and uninformed patients are less likely to accept the doctor's choice of treatment and less likely to do what they need to do to make the treatment work.

What you can do:

- Take part in every decision about your health care

- Make sure that all of your doctors know about everything you are taking. This includes prescription and over-the-counter medicines, and dietary supplements such as vitamins and herbs.

- Make sure your doctor knows about any allergies and adverse reactions you have had to medicines.

- When your doctor writes you a prescription, make sure you can read it.

- If you have any questions about the directions on your medicine labels, ask.

- Ask about the side effects your medicine could cause.

- If you are having surgery, make sure that you, your doctor, and your surgeon all agree and are clear on exactly what will be done.

- Speak up if you have questions or concerns.

- Make sure that someone, such as your personal doctor, is in charge of your care.

- Ask a family member or friend to be there with you and to be your advocate (someone who can help get things done and speak up for you if you can't).

- Know that "more" is not always better.

- If you have a test, don't assume that no news is good news.

- Learn about your condition and treatments by asking your doctor and nurse and by using other reliable sources.

(Tips extracted from womenshealth website)

Recognising single mother and child as a family unit

A single mother wrote in the papers recently and asked why unmarried mothers cannot have the same benefits and privileges that go to married mums. These include tax breaks and other financial incentives like the baby bonus.

To some expectant mothers they cried with joys of pregnancy, but some spends sleepless nights wondering where they will live once the baby is born.

This is the story of this women who are unmarried and their long road ahead as single mum.

One of the women had her boyfriend threw her out when she refused to have an abortion. He had proposed to her last year and she abandoned the PhD programme she was pursuing overseas. She lost her well-paying contract job as a human resource specialist at a multinational company. She says she was fired for not telling them she was pregnant when she was hired the previous month.

I thought: Single mothers, including unmarried ones, face double the burden with half the resources needed. Their sons will do national service and their daughters will bear and nurture future generations, right? So why the differences?

The writer who wrote the news article just want a little help from the government.

Unwed mothers are not entitled to baby bonus or tax relief if they work. Those under 35 cannot buy Housing Board flats unless they go through a process of seeking special permission. They are entitled to buy flats if they team up with parents or siblings - a mother and child are not considered a family unit.

To the writer, she and the child are a family.

They may have made a mistake, but they are taking responsibility for their actions by being in the role of both a father and mother. So why discriminated against for having and raising a child in a country that needs kids so much?

The mothers do need financial incentives more than those in complete family units.

For many of them, the fathers refused to bear responsibility. Some of these women are victims themselves, being abandoned by partners they trusted. If unwed mothers are not given the same benefits as married ones, this will affect the child.

Home ownership rules could be made more flexible, at least by recognising a mother and child as a family unit.

One MP said, 'The family unit with a father, mother and child is the fabric with which we weave our community.' 'That should not be compromised.' ( Of cos' the mothers want that complete family unit as well)

Not surprised that there are more unwed mums, he said 'Being better educated and financially independent gives them the choice to raise babies single-handedly.'

But he felt that having made alternative lifestyle choices, they should not then ask the Government to bend rules to accommodate them.

'No baby will be deprived of milk powder or a roof over his head,' said the MP. 'If a single mother is really in need, of course, we will make exceptions'.

But the exception cannot become the rule.

His parliamentary colleague, shares similar views. 'Government policies are made on a macro level - they set the tone for society,' she said.

(I find this amusing) If the mother gave the baby up for adoption, he would become someone else's 'legitimate' child. So to the single or unwed mothers, if they had their babies, loves them and wants to raise them, their babies will always be illegitimate in the eyes of the state.

Or is it better to chuck the baby at the door of a community centre, then their separate lives would probably be better off than for the mother to take up her moral responsibility, and be shunned.

It seems that being responsible is worse off than being irresponsible.

Granted that allowing some leeway with the public-housing policy may open up possibilities not intended at its inception, but, surely, there should be a small scheme to help such mothers?

Not so much to condone what they had done, but to stop the cycle of punishment and blame and to give the child the best chance to grow up happy, like every other child.

If you think you are unhappy...

(These was forward to my email.. voted the best email of this year.) -Extracted only a few

If you think your salary is low.. If you think you don't have many friends...When you feel like giving up.. If you think you suffer in life... you complain about your transport system... If your society is unfair to you... Enjoy life how it is and as it comes.. Things are worse for others and is a lot better for us. There are many things in your life that will catch your eye but only a few will catch your heart....pursue those...

I cried...